A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So me and my boyfriend have been together for four months now, and he barely has sex with me anymore, nowadays most of the time when we're having sex it starts with me practically raping him. I had a fear of getting pregnant, but when I found my boyfriend I lost that fear because I fell for him and whatever happens happens. Uh, two months ago, I was spazzing about the idea of being pregnant but more like spazzing because I wasn't sure if I was or wasn't, and then his sister found out she was pregnant, and during this whole thing I was still getting my regular cycle but his mom was telling me that she had hers during her pregnancy. But we took the test and I wasn't pregnant.. since that, he is afraid of geating me pregnant.Anyway, how can I make him confident enough to start having regular sex again. Its stressing me out, the lack of sex. What can I say or do, and please dont say give him time, believe me I gave him time. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (26 December 2013):
 The answer to your question is contraception.
4 months is not long enough to truly know someone and, I'm sorry, but an attitude of "what happens, happens" is not sensible.
There are many different types of contraception available. Some protect against STD's as well as pregnancy. Some forms require more fastidious commitment than others and may not suit your lifestyle. Others may reduce spontaneity, or may not suit your health needs.
I suggest you BOTH visit a family planning centre or sexual health clinic and discuss your needs. They can advise you on which form of contraception would be the most suitable.
In the meantime, if he's worried then he should take some responsibility and wear a condom!
I hope this helps AB x
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 December 2013):
 Two words: Depro-Provera.
You want to assuage fears? Have your boyfriend go with you to the doctor to get this simple shot (after making sure you have no medical issues that would make this not be a good idea). No pills, no worrying, one shot will cover you for 3 months, and it's as effective as the pill (99.7% effective on average).
You don't HAVE to take your boyfriend with you, but if he knows you have taken the shot, he doesn't have to worry about forgetting a pill or "pulling the goalie" or whatever.
And it sounds like YOU worry too - this will put you well at ease as far as pregnancy is concerned.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 December 2013):
 you make him confident enough to have sex by getting on good strong hormonal birth control such as an implant or pills.
and you buy a good supply of quality condoms.
easy peasy...
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 December 2013):
 If I were your boyfriend I'd be afraid too ! I'd be terrorized. What kind of reasoning is " whatever happens happens " ?! Maybe, he does not want it to happen NOW. Maybe he has not got enough money to support a child, maybe he is too young to be a father, maybe he does not want to have a child with you because he knows yours is not a forever4 type of thing and he does not want something ( someone ) to tie him to you forever if the relationship ends . He might have dozens of very good reasons to not be ready for a child right now, but , do you care ?.. heck no. Whatever happens happens , including having kids from a quasi - stranger ( because that's what he basically is for you after just 4 months of dating ).
He must be either very much in love, or very insecure , or both- I think other giys , catching wind that you are willing to make them a dad without their full expressed enthusuastic consent .. would just say NEXT and disappear as fast as lightning.
So, what can you do to convince him to have sex with you ?... Gee, I dunno, what about, like, going on the pill AND making him wear condoms ?
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (20 December 2013):
 Sound like you want a kid and your BF knows that and he does not want one. You need to sit him own and talk about it and also you need to tell him that you will use some contraceptive to put his mind at ease. Assuming you are willing to wait till both of you are ready to start a family.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (20 December 2013):
I don't know...take birth control or use condoms? There is no magical answer besides talking to him and taking preventative measures to not become pregnant.
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