A
female
age
36-40,
*taunton5410
writes:My Boyfriend just turned 20 years old. I am going to be 21 in october. We have been together for 7 months and have an apartment together. All he wants to do is play computer games. He says that when he gets home from work he just wants to relax and play his games on the computer. he will then stay up until like 2 in the morning doing this because he says it is what he wants to do. I really want him to spend time with me, and he doesn't like it when I ask him to come to bed with me, because it feels like I am telling him what to do. Is there anything that I can do or say to him to make him pay more attention to me and not play computer games when we are at home together. he tells me all the time how much he loves me and how beautiful
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female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (27 June 2007):
 My guy likes his computer games too and me and him used to fight over it as I felt second place to his xbox. We had a long chat about it and he decided to cut down on his play time. Some nights he still plays until late but we know do things together which doesn't involve any game of any kind. Chat to your guy and explain how you feel
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (11 May 2007):
 I'm sure he'll grow out of it by 21 at the latest. None of my pals are into it anymore (except for the richer ones with the PS3 and 1080p HDTVs... who can blame them...)
I can tell you something that would work though. Tell him he's getting fat. Dont say its cos of the computer games though. Just lightly point out at some point that he's gained some weight. He'll start caring more about that, eventually take a long break to sort out his weight. If the break from the games is long enough, he'll no longer be so into them (unless its an MMO game, then its gonna be tough)
I know that scam works:-) it might sound cruel and manipulative (to some) but if it works, it works!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007): My boyfriend was addicted to computer games too. I felt like he didn't want to have anything to do with me. Everytime he came home, he'd go right to the computer. I decided to check out a few of his games for myself and ended up liking it. Now its something we do together and have fun with it. Also try to get him away from it. Whether you guys go out to dinner or catch a movie. The more he spends away from it, the more he'll start to get away from it. Atleast it worked for me :)
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A
male
reader, clearlight +, writes (10 May 2007):
 The game is an addiction and like most drugs of an addictive nature the user will only quit when the user themselves wish to quit. The highs from the game increased production of endorphins and the subsequent "rush" and need to get his "fix." I would suggest thinking of it like relationships between smokes and nonsmokers. Each prefer their own kind and seek those people when finding a partner, like the smoker being "nagged" to quit feels like "being told what to do."
That being said here is the good news. Besides behaving as a pain reducer, endorphins are also thought to be connected to euphoric feelings, appetite modulation, and the release of sex hormones. If you really wish to find that which you are seeking for in your question, meet your man in his own world. Physically he is sitting in your apartment next to you, but mentally he is worlds away. Meet him in his world and you will find what you need from him. Most games nowadays with or against other people and with such spark feelings of competitions between certain players or rival teams and brotherhood or kinship with teammates.
You need to find a game which you can both play together. Not knowing what he plays I can only leave you with a few random suggestions and examples of what my woman and myself interact and play together. Most board, puzzle, and word can be played together which dont require video game skills or know how, if you can use a mouse you can jump right in and be on equals terms with any "keyboard jockey." Scrabble, Virtual Pool 3, Family Feud, Mini Golf, and a current fix which you can download and play for free: http://albatross18.com.
If you playing computer games is just plain silly, waste of time, nerdy, or images of dorks with pocket protectors comes to mind then just try the demo of a most rewarding and our favorite game we play together, Bliss. http://www.gamesforloving.com/
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007): The PC has an odd, life sucking force-if you ever played on it or watched youtube...you would fast learn that it doesn't make you tired, it keeps you awake.
Video games. There are alot worse things he could be doing with his time. Granted that it's not the norm way of life to devout 7 hours to pc play.
How about striking up a deal to give him Mondays, Wednesday, Fridays as his pc evenings and FRIDAYS SHOULD BE DATE NIGHT FOR ALL COUPLES, MARRIED OR NOT.
Then Tuesdays and Thursdays are evenings set aside for small talk, cuddling, maybe get out for a stroll. Relax together that way.
How about reading a book in the same room as the pc on his evenings. Still together in body and spirit of sorts. Talk to him from time to time. How about giving his shoulders a rub and kissing his neck and rubbing his arms as he is on the pc then let him unwind and go take a bubble bath or do something that interests you.
Enjoy you time to yourself times while you can because when you are married and have kids...you'll miss these carefree days.
This is personality related and therefore, you either accept him as is and work for meeting that middle ground.
You fell in love with him for reasons that he hasn't misled you on I am sure.
Best Wishes.
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (10 May 2007):
 If you love someone it means making sacrifices big or small. He should be prepared to make the time with you.
He should find you relaxing and want to chill out with you, and not the computer. I can understand why he does it, they do get help vent stress in a way; but you are way more important and you have better ways to relieve the stress than his computer.
Talk to him and let him know how isolated you feel and how much you would love him to spend a bit of time with you in the evening, do something together to enjoy the time, rather than sitting and watching the tv.
Relationships are all about understanding and comprimises and he needs to look at himself and where the relationship will head if you are kept on the side lines.
Goodluck...
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