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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend calls me names like b__ch, sl_t, w___e, ugly, fat, smelly, tramp, etc. But he says that he is just joking and he doesnt mean it. Well I dont take it as a joke, and I take very seriously. Do you think that Im overreacting? Would you take it as joke? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2008): My bf has been doing the same thing to me! He calls me all those names you mentioned, including ugly and that I stink. He slapped me in the face once "just joking," and when I slapped him back (impulse), he made me apologize. I didn't get an apology. I haven't talked to him since his latest incident which was 2 nights ago. I'm afraid to confront him to break up, so I'm just not going to call him or return his calls. Here is a link you should seriously check out. It helped me identify tha I was in a cycle of abuse. There are plenty of cute, successful guys out there who don't treat their gfs this way. Even if there werne't, though, I'm better off alone than getting abused and disrespected. http://www.lilaclane.com/relationships/emotional-abuse/
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008): Honey, I was with a man who treated me like that and the emotional abuse did escalate into physical abuse. You need to let him know in no uncertain terms that it is NOT a joke to you and that you want to be treated with respect. You are the only one who can demand it, no one else can do it for you. You don't need any man more than you need your self respect.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008): I would say only an ugly fat smelly tramp recognizes another one.See how that goes down with him.Emotional abuse can turn into many other kinds of abuse later on.Please take care Dear and keep us posted.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008): No, you're not over-reacting at all.
You should tell your boyfriend that he is actually emotionally abusing you and bullying you by doing this.
Why does he do it? It's to make himself feel better about himself.
He obviously is insecure about himself - like others have alluded to, it's because he is immature.
No man, or woman, would resort to such nasty insults to another person, especially someone they supposedly love. You need to make sure this kind of thing will not be tolerated. You never know, his problems may run deeper and his abuse may get worse and turn to other types. Stop it from happening now, and if you see any signs of it getting worse, leave him.
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female
reader, Ashleigh9345  +, writes (30 November 2008):
No your not overreacting atall, hes obviously being very immature towards you if he thinks swearing at you in this manner is a joke.
make sure the next time he lets out a joke of this kid you tell him that you do not find it atall funny and hes acting very immature, If he keeps it up tell him where you stand and that if it carries on hes out of the picture, you deserve to be treated with respect.
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A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (30 November 2008):
 You are not overreacting. He is very immature and even if he himself would believe he is just making a joke, his sense of humour shows that he is not ready to have a healthy, loving relationship with any girl. Stand your point here, it is not a funny joke!
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A
female
reader, katatonik  +, writes (30 November 2008):
 No, you're not overreacting. If he meant it to be taken as a joke, I don't think he'd keep it up after you called him on it. In any case, it's in extremely poor taste for him to call you those things. Make sure he knows you don't find this funny at all, and if he keeps it up, drop him like a hot potato. You deserve better!
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