A
female
age
41-50,
*ngeleyes1434
writes:im with my boyfriend for 5 years and he ignores me at time when he is in his facebook and takes awhile to answer me when im talking to him and i feel he takes advantage of my kinds and times i dont think he appreciate alot of things i do for him cause alot times i dont get a thank u and he talk about my kids what they dont do in a round about way what would u do if u was in my shoes would u leave him or what
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2018): I agree with the anonymous reader. Why are you talking to someone when you don't have their full-attention? If they are doing something, why would you just interrupt them in the middle of it?
If you frequently ramble on and on, whine, or complain a lot; people will eventually tune you out.
I'm going to ask you a few questions; but it's up to you to answer. I'm just offering you food for thought. I'm not picking on you. That's not my intention.
You've remained with a man you identify as your boyfriend for five years. So what has kept you together for five years? Don't tell me it's only you. If it's only you; then you're holding on to someone for no reason. It's not a relationship, if only one person is working at it. It's an infatuation when just one person loves the other; but the other doesn't love you back.
Are you financially or emotionally dependent on him? If you have kids old enough to help out, why aren't they?
If he takes advantage of your kindness and doesn't appreciate you, explain why he's still your boyfriend?
When you have been together for a long-time; you get very used to the presence of your mate. You feel content. You count on them being there; and sometimes you may not shower them with praise. Sometimes you simply do wonderful things out of love, and demonstrate your devotion in many different ways. So why has he been there so long? I do nice things for people I love all the time. I don't require thanks, it's only a polite word. I'd prefer they be kind in return, and/or pass it on. I can't always keep count of whom was the nicest last! Thanks comes back in many forms!
If we are being good to our mate, and we love them; love and respect is their reward. If you don't receive love and respect; or he doesn't do anything good in return for your kindness and loving-care. I guess you have to make a decision.
Unlike a husband; you can simply ask a boyfriend to leave. You can just pack your things and go. You can replace him with someone better. You can breakup, when he fails to reciprocate all the good things you give him. If you have to beg someone to care; they don't care. What is there to hold-onto?
Relationships don't just revolve around what women want in them. Sometimes it goes two-ways. Everyone needs time to contemplate, think, and just to be on their own to be an individual. To live in peace. Your mind has to escape to be recharged and rebooted. Your love ties you together, and always brings you back. You weren't born as a couple; you were born as an individual. You're a whole-person, not half your boyfriend.
What do you do for fun and stimulation? How do you please and entertain yourself? Do you have your own friends?
Maybe you are realizing at this point that the relationship has run its course. You don't seem to be getting any satisfaction or fulfillment from being with this man. You feel he's unappreciative; and you don't like what he says about your kids.
There is a remedy to all this.
If he's a bad boyfriend. Then give him his walking-papers. End the relationship. You don't have to put-up with a man who just lives there; if he doesn't care about you, or always ignores you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2018): I'd stop being so needy if I were in your shoes! If he's on Facebook, he's checking out what HIS friends have to say and maybe chatting with them. Instead of going out for drinks or going bowling without you, he's using Facebook to catch up. Maybe he's so busy with YOU that that's all the time he gets. You're intruding. Leave him be! Maybe he's taking you for granted a little but if you live with him or come to his house and take up his environment and space, the least you can do is help clean up and contribute something. That's just part of a relationship. It's NOT all about YOU. He's being round-about about what your kids aren't doing because being blunt would probably cause you to have a temper tantrum or backtalk. If your kids are in his space and taking up his time, they need to contribute too. Sounds like you're the real taker in the relationship.
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