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anonymous
writes: Im so confused :-( My boyfriend (on and off for 4 years, we are now 17 1/2) has being ignoring me constantly at school, and treating me badly. Im not sure if it is just me being paranoid but it never used to be like this. Things have happened in the past which have made trust quite a big problem but he cant ever admit to any problems being had, so its always my fault about everything. His excuse for not wanting to talk to me is that he is scared of me. How lame, i cant believe it after 4 years that he can say this to me. He sits there right in front of me having a laugh with his friends and goes out with them, but all of a sudden, im just insignificant to him. Its breaking my heart, all i want is to be loved and feel special.I havent a clue what to do, at times i want to kill myself. I would do anything for his love and affection, but somehow i just know it wont come anymore. Please help me im in such despair, i love him so much. Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, lorniie  +, writes (17 July 2008):
my boyfriend treats me the same. i just dunno what to do. i love him so much it hurts when he ignores me. he said that we shouldnt tell anyone at school because he will get bullied because i do coz of the way i look. i really love him so much but he ignores me. i just wantto stay with him forever. just like he said we would be. my heart aches so much when i see him coz i know i just want him.my friend isso supportive i dunno what id do without her.
lorniie
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): What I think is that you need to leave this boy alone. If he cant show that he loves you in public it is a possibility that he doesnt love you at all. I've larned from past experiences that every boy is not going to treat you right and sometimes the hardest thing to do is let him go because obviously your not worth his time so why should he be worth yours. What you need to do is step back and think about your relationship with this person and realize that as hard as it may seem you have to let go. It seems as if your hurting more with him than you are without him. So my best advice would be to find someone who wont ignore you at school. And gives you all the attention a girl longs for.
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reader, kymber +, writes (20 December 2007):
right girl.. hold ur head up high its not as bad as it looks u just need to work a little! go out and have your hair done or do somethink that makes ur confidence boom right up, when your at school dont approach him try to avoid looking into hes direction just simply play the same game! when he trys contactin you for example ringing you just simply say ill ring u back im abit busy atm! make out u hav no time for him! iv been in this sitution with my boyfreind i use 2 walk into a club and he would be in there and he used exactly the same excuse that he was scared of me! and thats why he left the club and stuff like this! so i wouldnt ring him, cuz before he would no id be on the phne giving him what he wanted! so i left it and yeh i did sit at home crying my eyes out, thinking he aint going to bother 2 days later i thought it was really over and he didnt care, but then out the blue at 6.30 in the morning i got a phone call sayin i love u so much iv realised this im so sorry i really want to c u and i said no im going back to bed im tierd, then the next thing i no hes at my door! so believe me the best thing to do is ignore him i no its hard but go out with your freinds and have a good time he will come round! but some lads are like that when they are with there mates cause we all no what lads are like wen they are togther with the arhh shes got u under the thumb" so maybe he just acts that way to act the big man to hes freinds, cause i thats one thing my boyfreind does when hes with the lads i just leave him to it! same as he does when im out with my freinds. well good luck xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): Listen, here's advise from a 29 year old woman. You have a lot to learn about men in general, and unfortunately the truth hurts and the truth is that the only way to figure them out is through experience, and here's a heads up, a little tid bit I should say to start you off into the right direction when it comes to the male female relationship. # 1. Emotionally and mentally, most men are emotionally different than that of a woman, (and don't let any androginous liberals tell you I'm wrong). Men are hunters, try not to be so eaily attainable emotionally, #2.
Men live in the now and you are thinking way more about the dynamics of the relationship than he is, he may be thinking about it but in a different way, your thought are much more complex than his, he runs off of GOOD/BAD feelings,be fun and free spirited around him, not desperate and emotional because even if he loves you acting that way will give him the BAD feeling. #3. King of an extention of #2, Women tend to think of a relationshp as an end all be all at a younger age then men, and truthfully men really never catch up to that emotion even well into a long term marriage, and here's some really advanced stuff for you, if you do catch one for the long haul, "those that play together, stay together" As hard as it may be, don't make it a job for him to be with you, in other words, don't act like a long term relationship, and the way he feels towards you is the most impotant thing in your life because you in turn make him feel responsible for your happiness which is way too much for most men especially at your gutys ages.
PRINT THIS OUT AND REFERENCE BACK WHEN YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, AND TRUST ME THERE WILL BE MORE AND THIS WILL ALL MAKE SENSE TO YOU, HOPEFULLY EVEN BEFORE YOU ARE MY AGE.
Take Care
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): ya my boyfriend has been ingoring me lately too. all he focuses on is his stupid video games. i walk in the room after being gone all day and he does not even look towards me, just goes right on playing his stupid games. and even when i am there, he does not talk to me or anything. if i talk to him he gets all pissed off and yells at me. i make his damn breakfast and lunch every day for him to go to work. i get up and 4:30-5:00 every morning to make sure he is taken care off and he has a nice lunch and breakfast. there is no way in the world he would ever do that for me now. just like right now.i have been gone at work all day, i left after him and i have not seen him since 6:30 this morning. it is now 10:30 at night and he did not hug me or even kiss me hello. between talking to his x box live people and playing his stupid game he barely said hello. what the hell is up with that. we have been together steadily for almost 2 years and he use to pay all the attention in the world to me and take me everywhere i wanted, but now he never wants to go out and i am invisible. i do not know what to do anymore. then tonight i said ill just go to commit suicide.com and he laughed and told his x box buddies that i was saying some funny shit. if i was serious i would have done it and he would not have even cared. i dont know what to do anymore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007): i have a boyfriend ive been with for almost 2 years. i am forced to live with him because i have no where else to go. seeing eachother 24/7 has been driving us to do crazy things we would not do normally. i love the kid to death and i would do anything for him, but we handle our situations alot differnetly. he becomes physical when stressed now, and didnt used to before, also, he likes to leave me and turn off his phone and not talk to me for days, its really depressing because ive fallen in love with a jerkoff, or perhaps he is just really stressed out from everything that has been going on. i cant stand it anymore i am going to go crazy you know. all of my friends tell me to leave him but i cant i care about him too much. it sucks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): If yur boyfriend ignores you and treat yu badly , it is time to move on. I know that four years is a long time and that ou have deep feelings for him, however, you have to know and believe that you deserve much better than that. You have to be strong and leave him alone. Trust me , he will realize what he has ost once you are gone and if he does not, then you will realize that you were better off with out him anyways. Your life is to precious to want to end it over a boy who doesnt realize that h as someon vry special in his life. It going to be hard, use all of your strength, courage, and power to focus on yourself and not him. At your age, there is so much to focus on school, higher education, yur future career. There is someone special out there for you that will love you for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2005): I'll be honest. Me and my g/f have been together a while now. We've had problems but got over them and went back to normal all the time. In "my" situation, I cheated on her and regreted it to the grave. I never brought it up, but one day somebody had found out and she asked me about it. I started telling her stuff like, "You're crazy, Omg I can't believe you believe them, do u not trust me, what's a relationship without trust" etc.. Never had i acted like that during being accused or asked about something like that. She even asked me why i was acting wierd, ignoring her sometimes, giving her unexpected attention other times. The truth was I was feeling so guilty and worried that I did those kind of things out of reaction.This doesn't mean he's cheating on you. Maybe his friends are making fun of him telling him you have him on a leash, check, w/e u wanna call it. Could be he's trying to be "Mr Big man" and show them that he's not a wuss. Don't ask why he'd be a wuss for loving you and being around you all the time. But highschool is just like that. So figure out if his friends are part of it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2005): Actually right now I'm in a similar situation...you feel like you should dump him but you don't want too. The truth is i think you should ignore him for a while. That should get him to lighten up. If he's hitting you, then tell him to f**k off! You can do better.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2005): Actually right now I'm in a similar situation...you feel like you should dump him but you don't want too. The truth is i think you should ignore him for a while. That should get him to lighten up. If he's hitting you, then tell him to go away in no uncertain terms! You can do better.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2005): okay girl you need to break up with him hes not givin you the time of day blamin everythign on you that aint right at all you should just dump him and let it be yeah you lov ehim you might be like me always wantin to feel loved in any kinda way even if it hurtz it dont matter if love well thats not agood im gettin ova taht you dont need him you can dom uch betta and get a guy who loves you and will talk to you good luck
-Jess3
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