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My boyfriend had a threesome dream about me & one of my closest friends

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 March 2018) 5 Answers - (Newest, 20 March 2018)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

This question goes out to those of you with some expertise in dream analysis... My boyfriend had a dream of him having a threesome with me and one of my closest friends. It was very porny and intense and he was having sex primarily with her in it. He stopped watching porn a few years ago because it made him feel gross and guilty - he also does not enjoy that type of fakey sex in real life. I know that he would never cheat on me and that he loves me deeply, that he only wants to have sex with me. I also know that he isn't interested in threesomes, and have asked him about that in the past. However, I think that this dream still could be saying something about how he feels about our relationship.

If you want to say something along the lines of, "He really wants to be with your friend!" or, "He is fantasizing about your hot friend!", please don't, because I know that isn't true and will not be a helpful response. She is unattractive, not his type, and he also happens to find her to be crazy (and not in the good kind of way).

My question is more about whether or not this might mean something about our relationship. Is he bored of our sex life? Is he suppressing some other emotion or feeling? Would love to know your thoughts. Thank you in advance!

View related questions: porn, sex life, threesome

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (20 March 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntHonestly? It doesn't mean anything just because it was your friend doesn't mean he wants to have sex with her. He needs to be less honest with you though, really who want's to hear about there partners sex dreams. As for you saying your friend is not attractive, who gave you the right to make that call? I would hate to see how you treat your enemies if that is what you say about friends! Also he may find her crazy but he did still dream of having sex with her!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2018):

WOW! Did your BF actually TELL you about this fantasy of his???

If so, what a total DICK!

Ok, many people have fantasies but they are usually kept to themselves. People do not go around telling their partners this shit. Why? Because of posts like yours! It is upsetting and worrying and so unnecessary!!

I don't have fantasies personally. The only fantasies I have are about my bf and I get off on those. I don't need strange people or people I know to rock my boat. He already DOES that.

Guys are different though. SAD but TRUE. They will fantasize about anything that moves, even if you are hot and sexy and give them the best sex of their lives. It really makes us feel like SHIT, doesn't it? And insecure. So, you are not alone in the way you feel.

He is just a jerk cause he told you.

I would be pissed at him for that more than the fantasy itself.

I'd be worried about him from now on. Keep your eyes open is all I am saying. You just never know with men.

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (16 March 2018):

This reminds of me sex dreams I've had about women in my ancient past, such as school mates. Women I'd completely forgotten and never fantasized about even at the time we were in contact. When I wake up I wonder where that came from! Dreams often have nothing to do with reality. Given that she is unattractive and your BF doesn't fancy her friendship, this really has little to do with reality. If he's harboring the fantasy of you and your friend in a threesome with him, he likely wouldn't have mentioned it unless it was with the intent to plant a seed that would bring this to reality. I think you have jumped to conclusions here. As far as it possibly indicating that he is becoming bored with your sex life, that would manifest itself in other ways that would be readily apparent to you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 March 2018):

Honeypie agony auntFirst of all, it was a DUMB DUMB thing for him to share this dream. Because there is no point in sharing it with you.

No, it's not indicative of wanting sex with your friend. It's probably indicative of being horny. Maybe she got "pulled" into the dream because the two of you (your BF and you) had seen her recently or talked about her recently).

And OP.... there is no need to be a cow when describing your friend. Attractiveness doesn't mean squat. Neither doesn't crazy. And trust me, CRAZY still gets laid.

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A male reader, Allumeuse United Kingdom +, writes (16 March 2018):

It's meaningless. Guys would dream about having sex with every woman they saw in their day if there was time.

What does it say about your relationship? It says your boyfriend is an idiot and should stop worrying you with all of his brain farts. It really is just head junk. Tell him to keep it to himself because this type of total honesty is not stabilising to a relationship.

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