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My boyfriend doesnt show me any affection

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 July 2007) 9 Answers - (Newest, 3 October 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, *aychell writes:

my boyfriend says he loves me but never shows any affection to me. Could there be anything that im doing wrong?

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A female reader, Thanson1453 United States +, writes (3 October 2010):

I am having this same problem with my boyfriend. He tells me he loves me but he isn't very touchy. Some people don't believe in this stuff, but I take into consideration, his ZODIAC sign. He is an Aquarius: very emotionally detached, shy, etc.... I also consider his background which wasn't very loving.. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree and sometimes it's hard to change what has been routine for so long. Just make sure he knows that you love and care for him, and he may not show affection a whole lot. But every once in a while he will surprise you

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A male reader, Andy00 United Kingdom +, writes (19 July 2007):

Andy00 agony auntIf you are affectionate to him, then I don't see how you can be doing something wrong. If you ask me, you cannot be offer affectionate, and if he just isn't like that, maybe he's the wrong guy for you.

My ex wasn't VERY affectionate to me (even though she did occaisionally), while I was very affectionate to her. It never bothered me, I just knew I cared for her more than she did for me. This can happen in some relationships, and there isn't anything really wrong with it. However, if there is no affection at all, then that is something your partner is doing wrong, not you.

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (17 July 2007):

Sweet-thing agony auntI have the same problem with my b/f! He seems to enjoy being around me, and he says he loves me but I rarely get any kind of affection from him and I'm the type of person that needs it. I suppose people would say it comes from insecurity. I think it comes from our backgrounds, and how much our parents gave us affection. I grew up thinking a "loving" relationship would come with a certain amount of affection. You will just have to decide if you can feel good about the relationship without the fluff. Otherwise, he may not be right for you. Time will tell.

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A female reader, YummyMummy United Kingdom +, writes (17 July 2007):

YummyMummy agony auntCould you try talking to him about it and see what he thinks maybe triggered it. Maybe it a certain thing you do, or that he does or something silly like that :)

xxxxxxxxx

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A female reader, raychell United Kingdom +, writes (17 July 2007):

raychell is verified as being by the original poster of the question

raychell agony auntThankyou all for replying to my question. i take all of your replies into account. My boyfriend is 27 and i am turning 17 the age gap isnt a problem in case anyone thinks. His relationship with his family is excellent but the proble has only been in te past few weeks and i dont no what has triggered it. Thanks again for replying XxX

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007):

If he is around your age then I find it normal he's not very affectionate. Although my boyfriend ain't the most affectionate I understand is because of the way he was brought up, with his parents not being very affectionate towards him. This could also be your boyfriend's situation.

Do what I do. I always try to ask a guy how is his relationship with his parents. Usually they treat their partners just as they treat their mother.

I know that if I brake-up with this one I'll add "good relationship with his mother" in the "He MUST have" list.

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (17 July 2007):

flower girl agony auntI have to agree with Kenny here, unfortunately some men find it very difficult to show their feelings so if you are happy and he says he loves you then that should be ok.

Take care.xx.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007):

Well it could probably be one of two things. The easiest answer is that he just is not the type of person that shows a lot of affection. I have dated similar girls and that type of person just doesn't suit me. The second possibility is that he just isn't that into you. I would tend to lean towards the first option. I would probably talk to him about it and see if he can make more of an effort.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (17 July 2007):

kenny agony auntI don't think there is anything you are doing wrong atal. I think he means it when he says he loves you, but some people find it difficult to express their love in a physical way.

x

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