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My boyfriend doesn't seem to appreciate me sexually... is he just being friendly?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 March 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2011)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I know I should be asking him this but wanted your opinion on it.

Its about my boyfriend, we been dating for 3 months. I just don't feel like he likes me, sexually. He does do a lot of nice things for me like a friend would do, like help me if I need a ride or let me stay at his house if i need to.... but, I just don't feel that sexual feeling from him. I felt it before we started dating. But now, I'm not sure, is he getting comfortable with me. We do spend weekends together, but he doesn't seem to be eager to see me, I don't know how to explain it.

Should I ask him about this?

or should I test him somehow? maybe mean but I need to know

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011):

Hi

listen, I'm a 26 year old guy.

I lived for a year with my girlfriend.

While I was awake, my girlfriend slept. And when she was awake, I was sleeping.

When I slept, she didn't allowed me to sleep, since she was playing games with me, giving me tickles, and I could barely get some rest.

I came home from work very tired, and sometimes she wanted sex, but I really was very exhausted, and just wanted to sleep. When I was awake, and had a sexual urge, she was sleeping... it was not fun. I had to use porn to get some relief.

Due to the previous reasons, we had sex only around 1 to 2 times a week. It wasn't that much, but at least she masturbated me when she didn't wanted sex (I liked though).

If she doesn't have sex that often with you, it is perhaps because he needs to "refill" her lust for you in order to have sex with you. THis happens to me, if I have sex very often, I sort of get exhausted, and do not wish to have any sex at all.

Remember: talk to him. I'm sure as hell that he loves you, and if he is a little distant, it might be because his own hidden fears or things that hes afraid to tell you regarding his libido. Comunication is your best weapon here.

Best luck!

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A male reader, eddie85 United States +, writes (31 March 2011):

eddie85 agony auntI think the key point is that you need to talk to him and ask him if he is attracted to you. I'd be honest with him and say that you notice that doesn't seem to be that into you. If there is something you need sexually, that he isn't providing, you should mention it to him.

He could have a low sex drive (you don't mention his age -- as we age, even a man's sex drive tends to dwindle), or perhaps he doesn't want to come off as a "sex fiend" this early in the relationship.

Either way, his reaction and subsequent answer to your issue will tell you a lot about your communication skills with one another and his feelings towards you.

Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'm sorry If I did not explain correctly.....

We do everything, kiss, hold hands, go places together, etc, make love, but once a week.... Is this normal? I just think we should more often.

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A female reader, lovelyeyes United States +, writes (30 March 2011):

You need to go out and get really nice loungerie, good wine,strawberrys, chocolate, and have some fun. U need to let show him how amazing of a girlfriend u are. Everyweekend u need to do something new. Suprise him everytime. Maybe its the samething everyweekend and guys can get bored very easily. U need to keep him on his toes and wondering what u guys r doing next. Trust me it could turn from girlfriend to being a buddy and back to girfriend again. Guys love new things all the time. There are sexual games u guys could play. Try giving him lapdances every now and then. If u don't know how take classes. Trust me it comes in handy. Lol! Good luck and get out of your comfort zone and get your man wanting u again. I've been doing this w/my hb of 12 yrs and its always fun!

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (30 March 2011):

Denise32 agony auntYou spend weekends together but he doesn't approach you for sex?

Does he flirt with you at all? Kiss you, hold hands and so on?

If not, it could be that he regards you simply as a good friend whose company he enjoys (one would hope) but not more.

Maybe you should let him know you'd like to make love with him, and see how he responds. Be prepared for whatever he says, but hopefully he'll show interest.......maybe he thinks YOU'RE not interested.......

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