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My boyfriend didn't include me in his birthday plans

Tagged as: Big Questions, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 January 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 5 January 2017)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Is my boyfriend trying to distance himself from me?

Or is he trying to break up with me slowly?

My boyfriend is acting like a jerk and didnt invite me to his birthday celebration. We spent NYE together and everything was normal.

He was suspose to celebrate his birthday New years day because his birthday is Jan 2nd.I heard his family say they would have cake sometime on New years day. So on New years day i contact him and asked what were the plans for his bday but he never replied. So i texted him a few hours later and told him to let me know what time the celebration is and got no reply until 10pm and he said he was sorry he was busy with errands all day and he got called to work that evening.

So the next day (his actual birthday) i told him happy birthday and i was going into work but i was off at 2 so let me know what your doing today. Again no reply. So at 7 that evening he told me he was out shopping and running errands and he wanted to see me before his birthday was over.I told him thats sounds great,when will you be done with your errands? Again he never replied!

So i get on Facebook today and there are pictures his family posted of him with his cake and basically the birthday celebration. He celebrated on New years day and his phone was right next to him in the pictures so i know he saw my messages!

I dont understand why i wasnt invited.I dont understand why he lied to me and said he was busy when he was really having his birthday party?

Weve been together 2 years he always keeps me in the loop but now hes acting strange!

Please help me find out why he ignored me for two days?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (5 January 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntYou need to ask him, two years is a long time so yes his behavior is very strange. You just need to say you saw the pictures and why has he been ignoring your messages. Let us know how you get on.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (4 January 2017):

N91 agony auntOnly he can answer this one.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2017):

Sorry, OP but that is strange.

Did you have an argument lately?

Is he upset at you for something?

Could there be some misunderstanding?

How has your relationship been in the last little while? Has anything changed? Surely this behaviour on your BF's part could not have come out of the blue. There must have been a progression to it. So, likely he might have been giving you clues for some time. Have you seen any?

I do think he is being passive aggressive. He seems to be trying to send you a message. Excluding you from his birthday celebrations with family (I assume you were included in previous years and in previous family events) is not a very good sign. It is quite upsetting to be honest. I can see why you would be concerned.

You did your part. You tried. You reached out more than once. He continued to snub you.

Now, it is time for a conversation with your boyfriend. Ask him why he did this. And find out where you relationship is now headed. I don't think he should be let off the hook with his immaturity. He is going to have to tell you exactly what is going on. He owes it to you after 2 years. Do not let him off the hook. Ask him directly what is going on and you can deal with it once you know the truth.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (3 January 2017):

Aunty BimBim agony auntI agree with Honeypie, the person to ask is your boyfriend. It is odd that he appears to have excluded you from his family celebrations, are you on good terms with them all?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (3 January 2017):

Honeypie agony auntAsk him?

We can only guess.

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