A
female
age
30-35,
*raci
writes:Hey! I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 24. This is our first ever serious relationship and didn't expect to turn out to be one either! We told each other we loved each other a couple of months ago and have recently just moved in together temporarily until I find a new flat. I was a little worried about it at first because I was conscious that it could maybe make or break our relationship. But everything has been great and we have been getting on better now that we are living together and are constantly laughing when we are together or just love being together whether in silence or talking. We also have learned when we like and need our own space and are good at telling each other when we annoy one another and why so generally i've thought things have been going great. But. The problem is that last night I accidently got into his private mail box on bebo because I thought it was still logged on as me and wanted to check mine! I know I shouldn't have continued to read some of his messages but they caught my eye and made me really concerned and paranoid. They were all with girls and included things like:She said "so have you moved in with the missus yet?"he replied "no, don't be silly! I need my own space and she would do my tits in!"I don't understand why he would say this when we are living together and he has also told me that he would tell me if I annoyed him because i used to always subconsciously ask him if he was "alright?" and it used to bug him. So he has always told me if something is annoying him without me having to ask. It was also his suggestion that i move in for a bit and last night he also said that he really liked me staying and it would be weird when I go. So why is he saying this?Also, there were other messages that said thing like:She would say "so have you found yourself a WAG yet?"(he's a footballer)He replied "Nah, not got a wag yet."Not that I really would like to be considered a wag unless it was a joke but I am his girlfriend! we have been having a comitted relationship for 8 months and just got the impression that he was telling the girl that he was single. Why??He would also give other girls flirty/cheesy compliments saying things like "do you do lots of excersize or have you naturaly got a good body?"and "you know why you got in touch, it's because you think I'm hot" Is he just looking for attention? Sorry, this is such a long message. I just don't know how to react to this. Is it normal to tell a girl that you love her to pieces and then deny to even be with her?? and also his flirting with other girls so often.It has made me feel crap and as if he's not actualy botherd about me. Im so confused!! Is this just because he craves other female attention and if so then why? Or am I completely overeacting about this? I have nothing to compare or contrast this to so if you think you could give some advice then please do because I don't know what to do. Thanksx
View related questions:
bebo , flirt, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): my partner does the exact same. I borrowed his phone once to send a text, opened up sent items to check it sent and directly below was a text to another girl saying he was in swan valley one weekend alone. Not with me his girlfriend when i was there. He told her he had a boring time the place was over rated and he should of come to visit her. It hurts he'd deny being with me. So i can empathise with you. I cannot confront him because he would be angry at me for opening that text.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (5 April 2009):
He thinks that by saying "ok I won't go on bebo again" will just shut you up and fix the problem.
I don't think he's quite understood that you weren't bothered that he was talking to girls you were bothered that he said you were "doing his tits in."
You need to tell him that he needs to show you he respects you and likes having you around.
Any guy can seem perfect when he's alone with you. But you have to look at the whole package before you decide whether he is worth staying with.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Graci +, writes (4 April 2009):
Graci is verified as being by the original poster of the question It was an accident that I went into his mail. But fair enough, I didn't have to read them but couldn't help it when I saw some of the titles. I don't know if anyone could! And if they could then i would have lots of respect for them. Anyway, he's away back home at the moment for two days and probalby not the best idea but i texted him saying " we need to talk when you get back. I've seen the messages on bebo."
he replied sayin " i have done nothing wrong." and said that the girls had contacted him. I don't personally see how that make a difference. Do you? I replied saying "you told a girl that i pretty much don't exsist! how do you think that makes me feel?" and he has just replied saying that he will not go on bebo again.
it makes me so sad because he has seemed so perfect apart from this. Should i just through this all away or is there any chance this is fixable?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): First of all, you don't just accidentally check someone's messages. It's obvious you don't trust him and you are right not to because he's cheating! Sorry, he's not as serious about you as he claims to be and he certainly won't be monogomous.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): I think Emily summed it all up...Dump him for sure! You dont need someone like that.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (4 April 2009):
I think it's very sad but you have found that he doesn't actually respect you and will never be the man he claimed to be.
Dump him.
Tell him that you logged onto bebo and it went onto his mailbox. I don't think you'll need to say any more than that.
It's up to you what you do but I wouldn't want to be any where NEAR a guy who could be that too faced.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
|
