A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Ok well my bf cheated on me with my bestfriend not even just once but like 4 times in like a few days and i found out obviously which he is also her ex boyfriend and she cheated on her boyfriend with mine but what do i do its hard for me to be mad at my bestfriend because shes closer then a sister but thats so messed up should i forgive either of them or what ??
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best friend, cheated on me, her ex Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): the exact same thing happened to me.
i was furious with my boyfriend (now ex) and bestfriend.
she was as you said "like a sister to me" but no one who cares for you, betrays you like that.
they both knew what they were doing and they brought this upon themselves. i think they do not deserve your trust. but it is totally up to you.
if you do forgive them, remeber fogive but dont forget what they did to you.
xxxxxx(:
ps..
you deserve a better boyfriend and bestfriend babe.
A
female
reader, musixonle +, writes (6 July 2009):
Same thing happened to me. Ma best friend and my boyfriend hooked up behind my back. I stopped talking to my homegurl cuz true friends dont do that. Also I blew off my bf as well. U cant expect much from guys but still, he should know better than to do that, especially if you have been trying to stay faithful with him too. I think that if you really think you can trust your friend and you think she wont do you wrong again then talk to her but if not, then dont. She isnt that good of a friend anyways if she got into it with ur boi.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): I will be hated for going on this thread, but im the opposite. I'm the friend who the boyfriend cheated on. They have been going out for a couple of months and it slowly escalated with me and him. He cheated with me twice and we vowed to say it never happened. I told him i could never love him as much as she loved him, and that he deserves her more than he deserves me. And thats how it ended. I wanted to completly ignore that it happened and forget he ever cheated with me. We gradually grew to be better friends, me and his girlfriend, (we were already friend's enough to begin with). But recently, he finally told her the truth. And everyone knows. She is not in town right now but i text her and she won't reply. But i want her forgiveness so badly. I want her to know it was a mistake and that i lied to her, and im aware she won't trust me again, but that i want her friendship and even though i can't ever fix what happened, i can 'try and put tape on it' as someone eloquantly said.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): Omg the same exact thing happend 2 me on friday..i dont know what 2 do eather but me & mi bf talked it out & we almost broke ^ but didnt & ur rite it iz hard 2 b mad @ youre best friend & im nt mad @ hr anymor but i just dnt rly trust hr every1 iz telling me 2 dump him & mi best friend but i cnt do it i love hr az mi best friend but im in love with him soooo much & itz hard 2 let go! I hope eve thing works out for youh good luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): hell no!! how can you even conversate with this person anymore. it's been done to you behind your back four times. what is she going to say sorry cuz the fourth time made her realize that she was doing wrong. she made you suffer,i suggest you put her on probation and ignore her for a little bit since you still want to be her freind. but please do us all a favor and look up the word freind. you may be close but some time people you are real close to are your biggest enemies. they just use you for their benefit. i know that your so called freind is not calling you or crying for forgiveness because she's not afraid of losing you. if she really cared she would suffer beacuse she lost someone that was a real freind!!!please take my advice
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): Same thing happened to me about 2 weeks ago. They were playing an innocent game and both of them claimed that things escalated and got caught up in the moment. After they realized what they did they decided not to tell me until my friend forced my boyfriend to call me up and tell me. My boyfriend claimed he liked her but "loved" me. I tried to work it out with the both of them but i couldn't live with it so i broke up with him. I hardly talk to my best friend anymore and it kills me because i loved them both so much. Even after the break up they still fool around and flirt in front of me. It makes me angry but at least I don't have to deal with it. Everyone around me has been really supportive of my decision and Im sure your other friends will help you through this. My Bf and BFF broke my trust and I don't think i can ever trust them again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): Okay i know exactly what you mean just a couple days ago i found out my bf and one of my supposable best friends where going out. i was with him for about a year nd a half. i just ended it on monday. its hard ive broken down so many times. the first time they talked was over the phone i didnt think anything because well shes supposedly my best friend nd i was right next to her. later that night she was on the phone with "her friend brandon" she kept asking me questions about my bf but i still didnt think anything... because well you know shes my best friend. after 2weeks of them going out he told me... and after they both just acted like it was all okay. and then she asked for my freakin permission to be with him WTF! i was so pissed... now im just upset... i mean i know it just shows me there true colors but i realli didnt expect that....especially because i thought he was "the one" and now i just feel like a complete idiot :'(
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): Ok hun..I actually know what your going through...Just 2 days ago i found out my bf cheated on me with my supposed to be best friend.. They had a past together but she said she was over him but she must not be but i love him with all my heart...and I cant just let him go..See my best Friend was the type of person if you got something she wants then she is gonna try to get it...And well i ant about to fight over a guy so i made him chose between me or her...And shockingly he chose me now we are back together he knows that I don't trust him bearly but we are doing good....but you need to sit him down and talk to him and for your friend tell her everything you think about her and what she did...I know i did now i feel so much better i know this may not realy answer your question but just follow your heart...and if it tells you to forgive then do it it ant gonna be easy but just try it....sincerly broken and confused
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): Hey hen!!.
i know exactly what you must be going through, around 8 months ago, i started goin with a guy id liked for ages, i spent most nights with him, and some nights my best friend would come along. It was great, having a best friend i could tell everything too, and a boyfriend who told me ten times a day that he loved me. But then i joined a training course, and during the days when i was away my best friend would text me saying that she was with my boyfriend "hanging out", i didnt take much notice as they were good friends. But then the two off them stopped wanting to hang with me, my mum, my auntie and close friends told me there was something goin on but i didnt listen, until one day i was walking innocently round to my best friends to have a catch up with her, and seen them in her garden kissing each other, and thats when i found out that they had been seein each other for a while behind my back. Then i ended with him and ended the friendship with her, and for about 6 months now i havnt talked to her, me and him have currently made friends as him and her broke up, but he has started flirtin with me again, i no its pointless as i wont ever take him back. But there is days where i miss them both, but hen you just have to be strong. If she cared about you enough like she says she does, and said she was your best friend she wouldnt have went off with your boyfriend. Get rid off them both, cause any boyfriends you have in the future she will obviously try and steal. She is a worthless mate, and yes you may have had your good times, but at the end off the day she didnt consider your feelings or friendship when she was getting off with your boyfriend. And he wasnt much off a boy if he was willing to cheat on his girlfriend with her best friend. It takes two to tango, and the two off them were both in the wrong!. xxx
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female
reader, sali  +, writes (16 December 2008):
heyy..
well ive passed through the same situation.. i felt destroyed..
what happend exactly is that the 3 of us where in a cafe.. and they started flirting and making out infront of me.. and i felt shocked.. so i had no reaction i just left...
the next day i met my best friend at the uni and she denyed itt at all.. she told the story to everyone arround and made me look crazy and said that i made the story..
everyone stopped talking to me.. then she and my** bf started going out with ppl who were supposively my friends and kept on denying .. she spread out my secretttss infront of hiim and others:S:S it was aufull.. then she started spreading roumers and bad stuff about me and my family.. she kept on that.. causing me pain for 8 months.. and today after 8 months.. i decided to keep ignoring her.. and about him.. iam seeing him from while a while by chancce in cofeshops etc.. but we dont even say hello... in my heart.. i forgive themm maybe i forgive him more.. but her!! because she kept on hearting me its hard to forgive her but i dont hate her .. u know what i actualy cant iamgine myself talking to her again..:S she showed soo selfish so evil so baddd...
but its okk time will make u feel better but youll never forget the pain.. ull miss them sometimes.. or maybe all the time..
the reason is that you loved them more than they deserved.. so try being strong:D and am sorry for what happend with u cz it is.. painfull...
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female
reader, sali +, writes (16 December 2008):
heyy..
well ive passed through the same situation.. i felt destroyed..
what happend exactly is that the 3 of us where in a cafe.. and they started flirting and making out infront of me.. and i felt shocked.. so i had no reaction i just left...
the next day i met my best friend at the uni and she denyed itt at all.. she told the story to everyone arround and made me look crazy and said that i made the story..
everyone stopped talking to me.. then she and my** bf started going out with ppl who were supposively my friends and kept on denying .. she spread out my secretttss infront of hiim and others:S:S it was aufull.. then she started spreading roumers and bad stuff about me and my family.. she kept on that.. causing me pain for 8 months.. and today after 8 months.. i decided to keep ignoring her.. and about him.. iam seeing him from while a while by chancce in cofeshops etc.. but we dont even say hello... in my heart.. i forgive themm maybe i forgive him more.. but her!! because she kept on hearting me its hard to forgiv
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female
reader, stina901  +, writes (7 November 2008):
i know exactly how you feeli just found out that my boyfriend and my best friend were together while i was with him and my best friend told all my friends about it becuase she was happy that he chose her. She then had a full on bitch about me and how he never liked me and was only with me because he had to be and that she never liked me either. After the 1st time they did it and i found out she swore to me that she would never do anything like that becuase she was my best friend and she did it again.All i can say is...youre better off without the both of them, guys arent important so you shouldnt talk to him again anyway and as for your bestfriend.. its the hardest lesson you'll ever learn but friends dont do that. If you guys are closer than sisters then she certainly shouldnt have done it. Ive given up on my "best friend" and its really really hard and i cry about it all the time (becuase it happened recently) but eventually everything will get better, you'll make new friends and find new guys. And you'll get closer to your other friends too... becuase theyll support you.Speaking from experience... you should ditch them both. You dont need people like that in your life and shes not much of a friend for doing it.(This is such a long reply! haha)i hope it all works out for you :)Good luck xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): I have been through the same, but i did the wrong thing in falling out with my best friend and letting the guy get away with it. Then a couple of weeks later i ended thing with him because i couldnt forgive him. Then about a month later i made friends with her but things arnt the same, im back with the guy, but i still cant forget i love him though. Ask your self are they worth the pain? You cant forgive one and not the other its just not fair i did that and felt bad after. So make sure you do the right thing. Good luck
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female
reader, blondie2007 +, writes (27 April 2008):
 I have been through the same, but i did the wrong thing in falling out with my best friend and letting the guy get away with it. Then a couple of weeks later i ended thing with him because i couldnt forgive him. Then about a month later i made friends with her but things arnt the same, im back with the guy, but i still cant forget i love him though. Ask your self are they worth the pain? You cant forgive one and not the other its just not fair i did that and felt bad after. So make sure you do the right thing. Good luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): If she had done it once maybe you could forgive her but to let her do it 4 times now could you trust someone after 4 times? I mean it's hard to trust someone after one time but 4times is beyond a joke. I would say give her one more chance and if she messes up then tell her where the door is
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2007): my last boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend, as much as i felt crushed i still tried to make it work with her as after all she was my best friend. it seemed to work for a few months infact we forgot about it and carried on as normal but we kept holding on thinking things would stay the same, all its done is in time destroy me. you need to walk away from her only then she'll pay the price. good luck!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007): i mean just talk it out with your best friend but i would watch her with all my boyfriends cuz that means that she cant be trusted no more i feel the same way to so dont feel bad you have me as well
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007): My best friend just did the same and I will never EVER forgive her for it and I don't think you should either. Not only did they do it once, they did it 4 times. It was not a mistake. Neither of them stopped to think that you would be hurt. They did not consider your feelings so you shouldn't give them the time of day. Good luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007): hi i no how u feal my best friend dumped her boyfriend i asked him out and he said yes but then she started to confess tht she still loved him i sent him a text telling him and she said thanxs for telling him in a nice way she noticed how much she missed him she is proble just noticing tht she miss him so dont blam her but your bf he just an idiot for doing tht to u dump him for give your best friend and your bf will see wat he done and he has lost u for ever and see wat an IDIOT he was yours sinserly anonismus p.s soz about the spelling
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female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (4 July 2007):
 They are both lower than low babe!! If she was a true friend, and if you referred to her as a sister, well best friends or sisters dont act like that! Get rid of him!!And as for her... well, she seems to have no consideration for you... and no respect either. 4 times?!?!? No way! Id say you need to look at her as well, shes not completely blameless here in the slightest! Shes as bad as him.Whatever you choose to do, its upto you.Hope it all works out okay for you. xxxx
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female
reader, baby_caridee  +, writes (4 July 2007):
 I say break up with him. You can see the right and right decision in my point of view easily.
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female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (2 July 2007):
 She cant think much of you to do it with your boyfriend not only once but 4 times. If you want to keep her as a friend then fine, but let her know first that she's hurt you and let you down. Then you must forgive and forget for the friendship to work.
As for your boyfriend you will be so much better off without him! Trust me! He obviously doesn't respect you or care for you very much to do what he has done. And what's to say he wont cheat again?! Save yourself the pain and stay away from him!
xxxxxxxx
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male
reader, DV1 +, writes (1 July 2007):
 1. If she was your friend, she wouldn't have done it.
2. She's willing to sacrifice your friendship and her relationship for her own needs, therefore showing how little people mean to her.
3. Your now ex never liked or respected you in the first place.
Wash your hands of them.
DV1
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female
reader, PhillyPeaches +, writes (30 June 2007):
you need to kick them both to the curb. bottom line. with friends like those, who needs enemies?
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female
reader, bovvalicious +, writes (30 June 2007):
 She is obviously not your best friend and didn't value the friendship if she would do something like that, and your boyfriend obviously don't care about you that much if he cheated on you. if you dont trust them anymore then you aren't ready to forgive them, friendships and relationships are based on trust and without that they will fail so the question you should ask yourself isn't whether you should forgive them is whether you ready to forgive them if you are then you will be able to trust themhope i helped
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female
reader, rhythmandblues2 + ♥, writes (30 June 2007):
 Time for a new best friend, and kick the boy friend to the curb, you don't need people like this in your life....look for people who have integrity are honest and loyal and kind and who would not purposely do something to hurt you in anyway....These two did not fall on top of each other by acccident this was premeditated and carried out not even well enough to conceal the truth to you....This is not my definition of a friend, is it yours?
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female
reader, *shugar* *and* *spice* +, writes (30 June 2007):
 hey, well my boyfriend cheated on me to and he used to go out with my bestfriend but thats not who he cheated on me with. well i dident breake up with my boyfriend "he stoped cheating on me". but your boyfriend cheated on you 4 times so you can't trust him no more. well i see your close to your bestfriend so am i "she was ok with me going out with her EX because they broke up" but your bestfriend went out with your boyfriend while you and him wher dateing i don't think shes as close to you as you are her. but what ever you decide it's your decision.
good luck!!!!
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male
reader, nologo  +, writes (30 June 2007):
 Okay, what is highlighted in this story.
The answer: "shes closer then a sister".
We got 2 ways to treat "bf cheated on me with my bestfriend":
#1 - if this is about cheating, then there is lack of trust.
#2 - if this is about "sister", then there is lack of care.
Anyway, I would rather advise you to think WHY you lack it.
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female
reader, flower girl +, writes (30 June 2007):
 I understand that you are very close to your best friend, but she did not betray you once it was a couple of times, i would not even dream about doing anything like that to my best friend, you just don't go there.
So if you forgive her are you ever going to be able to trust her again around new boyfriends because i certainly would not she has already proved she has no loyalty to you what so ever.
Obviously it's your decision but i would think very long and hard about this, your young so you will find new friends and a new boyfriend people like this do not deserve to have you as a friend.
Take care.xx.
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