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My boyfriend can't last long sexually and I'm wondering the reason why?

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 August 2015) 6 Answers - (Newest, 7 August 2015)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi, my boyfriend seems to lack physical endurance in bed. He's in pretty good shape, plays sports and lifts weights several times a week, so it's pretty surprising to me that we can't have sex for more than 5 minutes without him feeling physically exhausted (although he's still hard and horny, and I usually finish him off). He masturbates every day and has a healthy sexual appetite. The only thing(s) I can put my finger on is that maybe it's cause he recently quit smoking and went on the patch? Or that he drinks a lot of coffee (although I doubt that would play a role)?

I care about him a lot, but sex is very important to me... I hope there's some way to improve this.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2015):

You could try being on top for part of the time to extend the session. Or you could vary position/pace to something less strenuous when he's tired to let him catch his breath. You could take a break and fondle when he's tired while he catches a breath. Or you could increase thrust more (even when he's on top) while he just lays there for part of the time.

You say you finish him off. Does he finish you off too? Do you incorporate fingers and toys?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2015):

Average penis in vagina session lasts between 3 and 5 minutes. Median is 5.4 minutes.

Your fella doesn't have physical problems. He needs to spend more time stimulating you before the dive so that you both reach your peak at around the same time.

Happy loving;-)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2015):

He lifts weights, works out several times a week, plays sports, and masturbates everyday. It's all of the above, and he has a problem with premature ejaculation. Perhaps that's the reason he masturbates; hoping it will take longer to ejaculate during love making.

Most of the time, it's just because he wants to get-on and get-off; so he can go to sleep after all that other demanding physical activity, including a full work week. He needs to slow it down a bit. He also needs to learn how to "make love" not just get-off! His heart just isn't in it.

He may also be consuming a lot of fad power-shakes and taking power-building supplements that may be doing more harm than good. Check out his medicine cabinet, groceries, and his fridge. If he's too much into the lifting, he is putting too much stress on his body to build muscle; and he needs to stop masturbating everyday, if it lowers his sexual appetite.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2015):

I 100 percent agree with honey pie, if your boyfriend is masturbating everyday then it could be that his penis is numb to any stimulation other than his hand. I think you should tell him how you feel.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (6 August 2015):

chigirl agony auntLifting weights and appearing to be in good shape doesn't mean you actually are. My stepfather was thin, in "good shape", he went jogging almost every day and was active. He also smoked every day, and drank every day, ate tons of candy and died at 56 because of the unhealthy lifestyle.

Just because someone looks healthy, doesn't mean they are. They can be "fat on the inside", as they say. I don't know if endurance during sex is a telling sign or not (probably not), but it's something to keep in mind before you start saying someone is healthy just because they look healthy.

If your boyfriend is out of breath when having sex, that he should see his doctor. Does your boyfriend have problems breathing? Does he snore? Could be he's not breathing right, or has something wrong with his lungs so can't get enough air in. All things only a doctor can tell.

I would guess this has to do with his smoking. Whether he recently quit or not, it appears to have taken a toll on his lungs. I'd encourage him to see his doctor about it.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 August 2015):

Honeypie agony auntDoes he spend time on foreplay? To get YOU in the mood and ready?

And maybe, he wanks so much that he has desensitized his penis to a point where your vagina doesn't grab as rightly as a hand does, so IF he wanks a lot it might explain it. Also there is a BIG difference in the sensation from "tugging" to the in/out of a vagina. And there is a big difference from being horny and masturbating and having sex/making love. If he treat sex like masturbation (as in he just wants to climax) I can see why it's not great for you.

When you do have your 5 minute sex, does he pretend to be a jackhammer? a rabbit? I mean it is fast and furious... does he FUCK or make LOVE (pardon the crudeness).

Do you get off or does he leave you wanting more, or at least to orgasm?

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