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My boyfriend called me by his ex's name. Would you tolerate it?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 August 2008) 9 Answers - (Newest, 18 December 2008)
A female South Africa age 41-50, *izel writes:

Would you tolerate the person in your life,your loved one,to by mistake call you by a ex's name?My fiance was married to a Liezel for thirteen years and my name is Lizel.Is it just because both start wit and L and am I just making too much of this?It truely bugs the living s... out of me!

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A male reader, askJAY South Africa +, writes (18 December 2008):

askJAY agony aunthaha.from a guy's point of view, i don't think you should be concerned. forgive him on this occasion and tell him you don't like it. how different is the pronunciation though? in South Africa those names would sound VERY similar LOL.

take it easy...no use having a wobble over something like that.

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A female reader, Lilly Rose United Kingdom +, writes (15 August 2008):

Lilly Rose agony auntI think it is normal for anyone to go off the rails if your partner calls you by the ex name....if its the first time he has ever done this then i would say dont worry. But if he does it again i would start to have serious douts.....being called by the ex's name is such a no no and anyone who do all they could to not even mention the exs name let alone calling you by it!

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A female reader, happytochat Australia +, writes (15 August 2008):

Based on this one incident I dont think you have too much to worry about. If you have been in a relationship with someone for a long time (such as years) and then you break up and start a new relationship, its hard to get out of the habit of saying your exs name. I know that when me and my ex broke up and I started a new relationship id go to say my ex's name but id always stop myself just in time. Considering your name and his exs sound VERY similar as well I think you should forgive him for this one incident.

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (15 August 2008):

Honeygirl agony auntSweetie, your name and her name are so similar, could have just been a slip of the tongue. Forgive him this time but if it happens again, gently remind him who you are or better still let him rather call you by your pet name, just so that there is no more confusion!

Honeygirl

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008):

It's going to happen at times when with a new person. I was married to my first wife for over 10 years and I called my new girlfriend by her name a few times at first. She also called me by an ex boyfriends name and she hadn't even been with him for very long.

I totally agree with Tellulah. When you have been with someone for so many years then it is going to happen. I also agree that you are making too much out of it. And, by the way, don't be surprised if it happens a few more times. It has nothing to do with his feelings for you. Neither my wife or I ever wished that we were with the ex whos name we used. Yes, it does hurt a little when it happens, but just forget about it. And forget about it the next time.

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A female reader, HiswifeNlover United States +, writes (15 August 2008):

HiswifeNlover agony aunti would say it was a mistake if it happened all the time i think that would be different but people make mistakes.. i would say let it go and if it happenes again then you can be a lil upset..

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A male reader, Dazzerg United Kingdom +, writes (15 August 2008):

Dazzerg agony auntAs has been said your names are so similar that I would have to say it's even an understandable slip. That is assuming you are hearing him correct. If her name was Sarah and yours Kate then it would bug me but not in this case. Kinda suggests to me she might be on your mind more than his???

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (15 August 2008):

TELLULAH agony auntYour name is almost the same, are you sure you heard him right?

Even if he did call you by the other persons name, he was with her for 13 years.

Are you making to much of it!!! Yes I think you are.

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A male reader, StevenRoss United Kingdom +, writes (15 August 2008):

To be honest I would be a bit annoyed if this happened to me, but it's just a mistake, think how many times you have said the wrong name by mistake - it just happens that this was his ex's name so you have taken it more seriously, don't dwell on it. Show him your annoyed but don't make a huge deal out of it, you love this man! I know it's slightly different but sometimes my mum calls me every male name in the family before she gets to mine. :P

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