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My boyfriend and best friend have been fooling around whilst I was on holiday, how do I talk to them about it?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 August 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 August 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

ive been with my boyfriend for a little over 7 months now he's 15 im 14 and sexually active.

im worrying as recently i went to Turkey on holiday and when i came back i found out my boyfriend and supposed best friend have been playing a question game. a sexual question game. talking about kissing each other and handcuffing her to the bed. he told me this joking around and i played along but im really hurt about it. she keeps saying "your boyfriends been very horny with me" i know she has liked him and probably still does. i want to talk to them both about it. whenever i mention it to him he jokes and avoids it and stuff. and if i mention it to my best friend i know she will fall out with me.

i dont know if it make sense but any help?

thanks x

View related questions: best friend, horny, kissing, on holiday

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009):

Frankly this is one of the problems of being so sexually active at such a young age. No one is committed to each other and they are doing it simply because they are horny.

You can't control other people you can only control your self. What would you like to do? Break up with your boyfriend, dump your so called best friend? Or just grin and bear it? Those are your three options, he has already talked to you about it, he told you what happened.

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A male reader, fuckedup14 United States +, writes (10 August 2009):

Hello there first off let me say I believe your way too young to be sexually active. So is your boyfriend, what happened to waiting for marriage. Just think about it if you were not sexually active then this problem would not be..a problem. Now some advice for right now, leave him, and your "best friend" there are both no good for you. You deserve better than them. What your friend did is not what friends are supposed to do. She should have came to you in privacy and said, look I have something to tell you, she should sympathetic, and apologetic just for having to tell you. It should something like this... while you were away your boyfriend began to ask me question that I was comfortable with. I told him I didn't like it but he when he didn't respect my wishes I left. This is how the talk between you and your best friend should have went. Not "I think your boy friend is horny for me" What the hell is that. If that is your best friend you need to check your self and check it quick. Put yourself first and that punk boyfriend or that whack best friend.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009):

If he told you about it, can there really have been much to it? If it meant a lot, he/they would have kept quiet about it - let it go, unless either of them brings it up again.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009):

this is a hard one.

I think if your boyfriend and friend have talke about it they may want to do it. I dont think very much of either of them and I wouldnt want to be friends with either. Your mates bf would be off limitsto you. Your mate should have told him back off and then told you.

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A female reader, SeriouslyStephanie United Kingdom +, writes (10 August 2009):

SeriouslyStephanie agony auntI think if they say they were just fooling around, then you have to trust them on that. If you were older you would probably understand, I mean that in the least derogitary way possible. I'm not judging one bit, however I do think that if you think you are ready enough to be sexually active at such a young age then you have to be old enough to deal with stuff like this. Words are words, they did not act on them, and therefore it is just them talking about fantasy atc in a very immature and juvenile way.

If your still not happy with the situation, then sit them both down and talk about it like adults, if your playing in the adult world, you need to be ready to deal with these situations like an adult.

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