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My boyfriend admitted he has gay relationship with his friend, what can I do?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Gay relationships, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 September 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 22 September 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi,

I'm 19, my boyfriend's 22 and recently he has admitted to me he had sex with his friend Johnathan.

My boyfriend said he wasn't gay or even bisexual and his friend offered him £1,000 if he'd do it - which my boyfriend did; he had sex and got paid by him for it. He insisted he needed the money.

Now Johnathan phones up at all hours asking my boyfriend "to come round to his house to watch the latest DVDs" but I suspect it may be more than that.

I feel disgusted and can't even speak to him much now.

We don't live together, so thankfully that problem is solved.

How do I deal with it??

Annika

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2006):

look he is totally gay so just leave him and find your self a new man and get checked just incase so that my answer

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2006):

Regardless of whether he slept with someone else for money or not, he has cheated on you. He obviously is gay/bisexual and the fact that he visits his friend on a regular basis and is really keen to spend time with him is evidence of this. You feel disgusted with him because he has lied to you and broken your trust. He's not worth the time you spend worrying about him. I know it's hard to deal with but you must find the strength to move on, forget about him and find yourself a genuine trustworthy guy.

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A female reader, ButterflyonFire +, writes (21 September 2006):

ButterflyonFire agony auntHi Annika,

Pretty name. =) Sounds to me like he may be lying to you. It's bad enough that he would have sex with his guy friend for money (ever think of workin overtime?..), I mean I could see that happening if he was curious, but he has you. And then there's the fact that he's going over there all the time now. You'd think once someone paid you for sex you wouldn't feel comfortable hanging out with them to watch dvd's. Somethin sounds fishy.

If the trust factor is gone from the relationship then it's not going to work. Especially if the idea of him doing his friend is constantly going to be on your mind. I mean, how can you trust him to be faithful to you if he's allready cheated on you, even if it was for money.

If you want to continue the relationship then you'll have to have a talk with him about how the idea of his relationship with Jonathan is making you feel. If he doesn't want to give it up then he's not worth it. You deserve way better than that.

If you need someone to talk to feel free to send me a message. I hope things get worked out soon.

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