A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:about to meet a girl on a blind date soon, we have chatted online, not on the phone yet, and we seem to have somethings in common, advice for a sucessfulblind date? we are meeting for coffe, thats it, short and simple. I've met girls via the net b4 and it has been not very successful, often we meet, chat and never contact each other again, often the girls i meet expect intstant chemistry which doesnt happen often! how do u keep a blind date wanting more dates if u think there might b something there?
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female
reader, dearkelja  + ♥, writes (3 May 2008):
 This is a good question and I agree with Natasia. I've met two men via on-line dating and I have to say the one I knew when he walked in the restaurant "no way" and unfortunately put myself through 2 hours of "is this over yet" dinner. I figured though I should give him a chance; that instant chemistry is over-rated. I just had a date last night, met the guy on-line. Been chatting for several weeks, talked on the phone, etc. I walked in the restaurant and knew there was no instant chemistry on my end and I could even feel he didn't have any sparks on his end. Yet, we endured 3 hours of dinner and chatting where I heard all about his ex-wife, etc. The end of both of these dates were uncomfortable. And we all knew there wouldn't be any repeats.
I did have a date with someone I have known for several months and there were sparks flying from both ends. No 2nd dates though due to other circumstances, not the lack of chemistry. That chemistry was undeniable and that was a date we didn't want to end.
So, I am now thinking that yes, there needs to be that "meeting of the hearts" fairly quickly upon meeting someone. If it's not there, it really isn't something you can "will to come" on your end or on the other persons. So the best thing to do is be honest and cut your losses.
If you find someone sparks with you, smile and be warm and engaging so they know. Sometimes how we act with others is returned in kind. So be yourself, be honest with yourself and with the person you are with. Make a list of all the positives during the date and start creating that "list of must haves" and when the right person comes along, you will know it and she will know it.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (3 May 2008):
When you meet anyone, within max 13 seconds you know if you want to procreate with them. It's that simple. Your bodies know. So if you don't feel that, don't push it. Instant chemistry is an absolute essential for any relationship. Anything else will be an uphill struggle at some point. It's worth waiting for chemistry. And you can't persuade someone to want more dates - honestly, if they don't want more, they aren't for you. You just have to keep chipping away ... the more dates you have, the more chance of happening upon a good person for you. Just increase the probability by keeping going. I know the dates can be uncomfortable and embarrassing if it's not right, though - so why not agree with anyone you meet that if either of you isn't into it after 5 minutes then you'll cut short the date? Save both of yourselves time and embarrassment! Then when someone wants to stay and see more of you, you'll know it's real. You just have to hold out for that person.
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