A
female
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Charmedone
writes:my boyfriend keeps having go's at me for no reason at all this is really getting me down i'm always i feel like a failure if i don't do what he asks he kicks off and hits the roof i feel like he is using me and i don't feel appreciated at all by him all my friends are telling me to get rid of him but i don't want to as i love him so much. PLEASE help as i don't know what to i'm going crazy. Should i talk to him or not? thanks Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006): First off, there is always a reason just maybe you don't agree with the reasons.
How about get some anger management for him to start. That should be a ground rule to continuing the relationship.
Then get some couple's counselling to address any concerns and fears there-it helps to have a mediator there to keep you both on track and to approach any subjects in a calm and structured manner.
Get some individual counselling to address why you choose to stay in an emotionally abusive relationship.
Also, pick up a book by Beverly Engel titled " The Emotionally Abusive Relationship~ How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing".
I also think telling him that when he explodes and starts to belittle you or attack you that you are getting tired of it and that you don't like it. Tell him that you are not going to endure the abuse any longer and that you don't consider walking on eggshells as a healthy relationship and it has got to change.
Tell him stop. Tell him that you will go away for an hour so he can cool down and think about how to address his concern without exploding.
Stick to these guidelines.
Have him write down or email his concerns to you instead of face to face talking until he can get ahold of his temper.
He is choosing to lose his temper and he would rather do so as it is a way to be abusive to you.
cycle of abuse
honeymoon stage= tension builds= explosion/violence= making up and saying sorry and promises of to never do it again=honeymoon stage
Best of Wishes.
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