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My bf is now bi curious and a x-dresser....help!

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 May 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 12 May 2011)
A female Canada age 36-40, *onfusedgal1909 writes:

Ok so... my bf and I have been dating for over 3 years now. He has admited to being a crossdresser. I have seen it, was fun at first now hes really into it. AND now is bi-curious.

We had talked about him trying a tgirl and i was alright with it. So one weekend we ended up at a fetish club and he was all "dolled up". He met this hostess that was a t girl and they talked for a bit etc. We went back the next night, my bf wasnt dressed up. He saw the tgirl again, they ended up making out here and there. I feel "ok" but still got a lil jealous I guess you could say.

She would pull his shirt to drag him into her, which if anyone else were to da that.. would be snapped at (its a pet peeve of his)... and a few other annoyances occured that night. At the end of the night he asked if they could drop me off at our suite and he could go have fun with her... I felt like i could slap him! I was so confused. I dont want to stop him from his fantasies but I also dont want to imagine him being with a tgirl... man...whatever. Also... even the fact that he has every account on earth that searches for tgirl encounters etc...

What do I do? I can't figure out if I am too up tight.. or whatever my issue could really be... jealousy??? cheating??? I just don't know.

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A male reader, Nithyanala Indonesia +, writes (12 May 2011):

Nithyanala agony auntI'm one of those t-girls, and, well...guys who like us generally want more than just to "chat", you know. He wants to see the thing through to the logical end and wants to have sex with a t-girl. If a third person in your relationship is not what you want, you should look for a way out.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (12 May 2011):

olderthandirt agony auntThe ONLY measure is your comfort level. If it's compfortable to act a certain way in bed then it's OK. If you have the slightest twing of feeling ikky then it's not OK and you need a new direction in life.Walking on the wild side can be fun or it can be dangerous so listen to your instincts(especially the fear) Your fear instinct will save your life(STDs/AIDS). Good luck!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 May 2011):

Honeypie agony auntSorry I would be done. Neither is a turn on for me. If he wants to be with others, I'd let him, but he would lose me.

As for the X dressing.. meh.. doesn't bother me, but again, it would be a bit of a turn off. Since I am not into women. And what happens when/if you have kids? It can be such a messy thing. Or if he isn't a X-dresser but a woman in a man's body?

I don't know.. I personally couldn't do it. I see nothing wrong in exploring your personality, finding who you are, but if the end result is SO far from who I started dating, I think I'd rather go my own way.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (12 May 2011):

N91 agony auntNot at all, to me you sound very open minded and tolerant. I think I'd lose my mind if a gf told me she wanted to go off and sleep with other girls.

This doesn't sound healthy to me though, don't know many couples where one half is asking to go off and sleep with someone else. Fine, he's being honest but its not a good thing on this occasion. If I were in your shoes, I'd end it, but it depends how much this guy means to you, but he's clearly shown he isn't 100% satisfied if he wants to sleep with other people!

Hope this helps x

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A female reader, cupidus Canada +, writes (12 May 2011):

cupidus agony auntI don't think this is his fantasy, I think it's his new found life style. You could go with the flow or roll out his life.

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