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female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of 9 months is in the forces and was due to see me at the weekend after being on a training course 300 miles away for 3weeks.He had been ringing and texting me daily saying how much he has been missing me etc.On the night before his return he was drunk and rung me to say he wanted to finish saying that he didn't want a girlfriend until he'd finished his time in the RAF. He also had news that he is to go abroad in September for a month and then shortly to go to Iraq for several months.He rung me the next day to apologise for being drunk but said he didn't want to see me. I am devastated. He has switched his phone off and when I phone his home his Dad said he wasn't in.What should I do now?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2005): i am only 16 and my boyfriend of 6 months has recently joined the RAF Regiment and is gone for weeks.hes only 17 but its what he wants.when i have him home its great but the day he has to go bck kills me.hes 8 hours away from me and i hate it.love my guy to bits but find it hard without him.he has said before to break up but i sed it would make things worse.just go by wat the guy wants and let him do wat he wants and u never no things could work out in the future and use cud b back together.
take care and look after yourself. xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2005): i know how it feels to feel that way...i think he said that because since he loves you and you know that he doesnt want to let go of you but he has to because he has to leave to overseas and be there for so long...when people love a person very much sometimes they have to let go..
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reader, becky05 +, writes (14 July 2005):
All you can do is respect his wishes and stop trying to contact him. He broke off with you in a terrible manner and should be ashamed of himself. Dont take him back if he comes with his tail between his legs, go out and find someone nice who actually cares about your feelings!
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A
male
reader, namless_lover +, writes (14 July 2005):
Sounds to me that he is looking out for you,(missing your texts) but doesn't want you to get hurt in the long run, or might be afraid that while he is gone it will be too hard to remain faithful. Get a hold of him no matter what, tell him you'll wait for as long as it takes, and you will only be his, it means a lot for your girlfriend to make some effort as well, but if he remains firm on his decision, tell him goodbye, cry, and move on no matter how hard it may be.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2005): I feel badly for you but there is nothing you can do about this. He's made up his mind and you have to let go. Try to keep busy and get through the heartache. This may be a long shot..but you say he's going to Iraq in September for several months. I wonder...if the mental strain of war could be bothering him. He's going into a "hot zone" where life is scary and unpredictable. Fighting the Iraq's war's guerilla and doing prolonged tours of duty can have an effect on the mental health of many soldiers. This is the type of war where you don't know whether you're going to be the next victim of a car bomb or roadside bomb. With all the dangers of war likely weighing on his mind..I am wondering if he is experiencing some type of stess or depression. Perhaps, he's feeling, if he's going to war..it might be best to save you the pain of grief/loss..should something happen to him. He's well aware of the adverse situation he's going in to..he'll be dealing with adjustment challenges and combat stresses, etc.
Let him go. Write him a note occasionally letting him know you are there for him should he need a friend to talk with. But, sad to say..you have no choice. You have to let go and move on. But please, take care of you and maybe when he gets back..he'll have a total change of mindset.
I wish you well and be strong.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (13 July 2005):
 I'm afraid there isn't an awful lot you can do.
It could be that he is serious and feels that your relationship won't survive while he is away and he doesn't want that to happen. He could also be under a lot of stress. He may change his mind but he may not, it is hard to say.
I would suggest you try writing to him and say how you feel but unfortunately, you may have no choice but to accept what he says and try to move on. I can understand how hard this is, but he may not have left you much choice.
He may feel completely different when he returns home but you can't put your life on hold in the hope that he will change his mind.
Do all you can to feel better by being with your friends and allowing them to support you.
Time does heal which I know you don't wish to hear but all you can really do is try to move on with your life.
You can't control the way he thinks and feels, all you can do is look after yourself.
Take care.
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