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My bf is abusive but I love him... what do I do?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 November 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 22 November 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and we even live together. He treats me great, takes care of me and tells me everyday that he loves me. Problem is that when he gets upset he calls me names,gets very loud with me and has even hurt me physically even though he says it wasn't intentional; he just wanted to put a lil fear in me. We both have so many things in common that I just can't seem to understand why he gets like that. I feel like he's my twin because we do so many of the same things. But lately, I'm beginning to feel like he's "breaking" me with his episodes and I'm having a hard time figuring out what I really want. I love him and all, but do I really want to go through the same thing over and over again esp. if we get married? I need some insight. Does anybody have any suggestions on how to handle this?

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A male reader, Kenneth United States +, writes (22 November 2009):

Run girl Run!!! This is what every abused woman says. Get away from this animal. You don,t need him. Someone better is waitng in the wings who will love and treat you with RESPECT. RUN,RUN,RUN.

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A male reader, ThaxTruth211 United States +, writes (22 November 2009):

ThaxTruth211 agony auntBoth post above me i totally agree with. LEAVE NOW while you still can. Anger lash outs can become more and more aggressive and he could end up doing something you would NEVER imagine him doing. And you could end up losing your life over it.

If you aren't ready to completely leave him, at least do everybody a favor and move out. Confront him in a public place and tell him you wont come back until he changes and gets help. Ive lost a very good friend due to demestic abuse and i never thought it would of gone that far cuz all i ever seen was shouting. But it did. And it can with your situation.

LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE.

Things will nto change and if they do it'll be for the worse.

With remorse.

-Tha Truth-

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A female reader, QuirkLady United States +, writes (22 November 2009):

QuirkLady agony auntSomeone who truly loves you treats you well every day. They don't hurt you to put fear in you (and that is one of the flat out dumbest things I have ever heard, why would someone who loves you want you to fear them?) and they never, ever, EVER put their hands on you. Your heart is telling you that this relationship is no good for you. It won't stop. He won't get better.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2009):

Go with your gut and your gut Should be saying GET OUT NOW

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