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My bf is a nsaty drunk who is ruining my life, but if I leave him, I will be completely alone.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 March 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 March 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend is a nasty drunk. hes put me threw hell for years with his drinking. he lies constantly about if he drank. recently i came home from work and he was drunk, ranting and raving. i ignored him and after 3 hours of his bullshit he passed out. when do i say enough is enough of the abuse, worrying, crying, and everything else that a nasty drunk does? i have nowhere to go. if i leave no one to turn to. im turning to this page for some sort of support.

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A male reader, C. Grant Canada +, writes (26 March 2011):

C. Grant agony auntFirst of all, talk to these folks: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

They exist for people in your situation.

No one deserves to live the way you describe. Al Anon might help you open your eyes to options you didn't realize you had.

Good luck.

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A female reader, key United States +, writes (26 March 2011):

Despite how insecure you may feel now, you have to have more faith in yourself. Ask someone for help. Your family, friends, professional help – anyone!

Drunks are dangerous. No matter how much you love him, that won’t be enough if he doesn’t want to change. You have to protect yourself.

I would tell you to leave immediately, but I don’t know your circumstances. If you can’t leave straight away, strengthen your position, tell someone, put some money aside, cover your traces, don’t let him see what you’re preparing to do (think about deleting your emails and messages such as this one, Internet surfing history etc.). And leave as soon as you can.

If he really loves you and wants to change, maybe it’ll be a wake-up call for him.

But, honestly, the number of drunks/junkies who get clean is so small. Don’t hope that he may be a part of that group of fortunate ones, because whatever happens to you in your life is 100%.

Protect yourself and let the people who love you be there for you.

Take your life into your hands.

You don’t deserve to live like this.

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A female reader, FiveoJen United States +, writes (26 March 2011):

Okay answer me this. If he's that bad, wouldnt you rather a few months of being alone than a few years of dreading going home? A few years of not knowing if his drunk self went and killed someone driving home? A few years of knowing that he's coming home drunk and going to make your life a living hell? I'm going to be brutal here because frankly, we are all adults and as one female to another-we need people to quit feeding us what we want to hear. So here it is.

If you dont have one-go get a job. Get out of the house as much as possible. Unless your missing a limb, your fully capable of getting a job.

Getting a job means, INDEPENDENCE. It means getting FRIENDS. PEOPLE TO TURN TO. HOPE. A WAY OUT.

After you get a job, you need to boot that drunken mess out on his arse. PERIOD.

Who cares if your going to be alone? Really? There is someone out there, that you will find, whether it be Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now, you wont be alone.

You need to get out of there. Period. Getting out is the easy part. Staying out is where you'll get drawn back in. If he isnt willing to get some sort of treatment for his drinking problem, he isnt worth your next bowel movement.

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