A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hello at a young age i was sexually abused by a man who was 60 years older than me. He also was once nearly my grandad and then after that i became depressed and had an eating disorder. I've never really known my real dad. So therefore I have had a very hard life for a 19 year old. The problem is i have been with my boyfriend for 13 months. He is 40. He has asked me to marry him and I dont know what answer to give him? Also i have just moved out from his place and am now living with my mom. So do i marry him or not? I love him so deeply. He is my hero.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (9 October 2006):
 If you are thinking about divorce before you are even married then you should definitely wait for awhile before tying the knot. Not sure enough by a long shot.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno i am not looking for a father figure in my life as ive never had 1 and nor do i. he is also the light of my life i idolise him with every breath i take. ive been with him nearly 16months and we are going to wales on the 16th when the proposal will be announced properly with a ring lol. it isnt the age im worreid about as ive accepted that ages ago its the messy divorse i dont want to have to go through when and if we did get married.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2006): Hi , I am in almost the same situation as you the only diff thing is that i was never abused and my dad was always around. But i am in a relationship with a man that is 22 years older then me, I am 22 and he is 44. We have been together for 5 years and I am anxious to get married. He has 2 kids aged 5 and 10 from his previous marriage where his wife died shortly after childbirth. if you are worried about the age gap, don't be. My bf is the light of my life, he is my heart and soul and i don't think i would be able to find anything better with someone my own age. So if you are sure you really love him and you are not just looking for a father figure then I would say definetly say yes to his proposal, but also get some professional help for your past issues, it will help you have a healthier relationship with the man of your dreams
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A
female
reader, Ms. Tanya +, writes (5 September 2006):
 If you are SURE you love him and your SURE you want to marry him, then guess what? Start trying to figure out your color of dress!!
I think you may want to talk to maybe your mom, and some friends, but yes I think you should. :)
Best of lucky Dear!
~Ms. Tanya
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 August 2006):
Anytime someone ask if they should marry somebody the answer is no. If you have to ask that question then you aren't totally sure and marriage is far to serious to entered into lightly. There's all the time in the world so just tell him you are not ready yet.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiondr pete, my dad has never been around. i have had step dads. but resently i have been meeting up with my real dad and it does up set me but every time my boyfriends has been there for me. i know his 21 years older than me but he acts like a 19year old. we gave each other life gain as weve both been physically hurt. thanks for your help guys.
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A
male
reader, Dr Pete + ♥, writes (20 August 2006):
 How is your relationship with dad? Where is dad now, and where was he when this man abused you?
Be careful not to confuse between a relationship with a boyfriend - a man who should be equal to you and a man who is a father figure.
It is worrying, to say the least, that a man of this age, knowing your past, would propose marriage to you.
Do you really, genuingly, think this is a good idea?
Well you asked me directly if I think you should marry him. No - I think you should give it at least 3 years. If it's true love, you won't be missing out on any thing.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe reason i want to marry him is because although that happened to me i found it hard to come to terms with but when i met him life became easy again. thanks for your help. but i do love him and he is my life.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (20 August 2006):
 I think you are still having some problems with what happened to you in the past and maybe you should get some counselling for that. Meanwhile, I think this man is too old for you and the fact that you wrote this on here shows me that you are not sure whether you should marry him. With a decision that big, I think you need to be 100% sure.
Get some help and keep your guy if that's what you want to do, just don't rush into anything big yet. See how you feel once you've had some help. If you love him and it's right, it will work out but only when you are feeling better about you and what happened to you.
Good luck
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