New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

My bestfriend is into drugs and alcohol. How do I help her?

Tagged as: Friends, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 February 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok, so me and my ex-bestfriend i guess have been friends for a long time. Early when i first met her we were instantly friends and she was hanging around a bad group of people who like cut themselves and everything but she didnt.

Her dad died like not to long before she became friends with these people and it was all during her senior year in highschool which was probably rough were around the same age but i was ending my junior year while she was ending her senior year. Were both 19 now, and have been out of high school and in college.

So we started fighting a couple months back like everytime we hung out we would fight and i didnt trust her when she said she couldnt hang out because she had lied to be before. She did some messed up things while we were friends but i still stayed friends with her and was always there for her. Anyway i finally got her out of that situation with her other group of friends but about 5 months ago we sort of stop being friends we had class together sat next to eachother, and she would just ignore me after class was over not call not text me the whole day and then i found out she just basically replaced me with a new bestfriend and was telling her that she brought out the best in her and that she was glad she could hang out with someone and talk to them and they started hanging out everyday like we did in the beginning. So this made me kind of sad.

So just recently i found out that shes involved with this girl PLUS her old group of friends who are like pyscho and they always hurt her and try to ruin her life and they even tried to ruin our friendship all the time, they've done so many things to her yet she tells me she just wants to be "cool" with them. She was so miserable before because she didnt realize it but they slowly dragged her down and got her into smoking and drinking ALOT. so i found at that right after we stopped being friends she was hanging out with them drinking and smoking weed a lot, and i even talked to one of them and they said shes not doing great and that shes smoking weed 3 times a day and just isnt happy. And i can tell shes not but if i talk to her she will swear she is great and wont even tell me about the drinking and smoking she doesnt know i know.

I tried to tell her to stop and just maybe take some time to herself and everything but everytime i contacted her she was just a bitch to me and would tell me all i do is bring up our friendship and how it used to be and shes basically like i dont want to talk about it n u always bring it up.

I can tell i mean a lot to her and shes really hurting but now shes just replacing me with this new bestfriend and i think that girl is sort of getting her away from that other bad crowd like i did but i think she still talks to them. And goes behind her new friends back and hangs out with them sometimes. Its just not like her to smoke and drink and they brought her down in the first place and now there doing it again now there were not friends. It seems like they go after he everytime she is vulnerable and it just sucks ive seen pictures of her doing bad stuff and dancing on polls. Also-these people do pills, sometimes do cocaine, and prob smoke weed a lot and drink a lot, and im afraid she is going to get into that type of stuff also. I know theres really nothing i can do i've told her mom but he mom doesnt pay much attention to her and says that she sees nothing out of the ordinary but i do, and its just scary.

She ignores me now and doesnt even ask how i am or what im up to and when i contact her shes rude so i've just stopped contacting her all together and dont plan on it, sometimes i've cried because i care about her a lot and love her as my bestfriend and it just breaks my heart to see how shes acting and why shes pushing me away so much and just replacing me.

I guess my question is what do i do if she contacts me? And I just have this gut feeling something bad is going to happen and all of them will fuck her over. Its almost weird to say but i can somehow feel shes unhappy because i feel it too. Its almost like i feel her pain and it wont go away. I cant talk to her because she always just says i dont know what im talking about, do i just let her learn things the hard way and let her go through this? What do i do?

Sorry this is so long, but thanks a lot for the help!

View related questions: drugs, my ex, text

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (6 February 2010):

janniepeg agony auntIf you let her learn things the hard way it might be too late. She might get brain damage, liver damage, get arrested, get raped unconscious or die. Then you would regret you didn't do something. She is refusing to acknowledge her pain. She is not going to listen to you so you have to talk to some school offical. There must be a number you can call to stop drug and alcohol abuse.

<-- Rate this answer

Add your answer to the question "My bestfriend is into drugs and alcohol. How do I help her?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0156287000136217!