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My best friend tried to finger me!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 April 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 18 April 2009)
A female United States age 22-25, *ydae writes:

So I went on a trip with my school and I sat next to my best guy friend on the bus. It had been a long day and we were both tired so we decided to go to sleep. He layed down on my lap and I put my head on his back. I fell asleep until I felt a hand stroking my thigh. I pretended to still be asleep (and he couldn't tell I woke up cause he was facing away from me). So he kept massaging my inner thigh then he started rubbing my vagina and he tried to finger me.

I'm not gonna lie, I kinda wanted him to but it bugged me that he tried to do it when I was sleeping.

Another thing that kinda ticked me off was the fact that I had a boyfriend when he did it. I mean, everyone knew I was gonna break up with him the next day but still...

sooooo...what do I do?

do I tell him I know that he tried it?

do I tell my ex that this happened while we were still dating?

help! :(

View related questions: best friend, my ex, vagina

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009):

Yeah, no i forgot to mention that. I do find that rather disturbing that he did that while you were asleep.. that's like.. super weird. maybe you can find a way to see if he knew you were awake or asleep without coming right out and saying, that way you know he's not lyeing. Like, hey.. so how about htat bus ride.. i fell asleep. Did anythign funny happen? I heard... blahblah.. i don't know be creative. I would be afraid that he would lie though if you just asked him straight out.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009):

Most people here don't find it strange he did this while she was asleep? OP, this guy is bad news.

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A male reader, ArmyMedic United Kingdom +, writes (17 April 2009):

ArmyMedic agony auntForget your ex! But tell this guy he would have been in the picture if he hadn't sexually assaulted you! Make him grovel a lot as what he did was SO wrong!

If you decide after he has learnt that he can't go round groping sleeping girls and that you could bring your self to dating a potential rapist, ask him out.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009):

if you like the guy on the bus you should let him have a go with you. stuff your boyfriend.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (17 April 2009):

Your ex is your ex so he is out of the picture.

As for your friend, well you now know that he wants to be more than friends.

So, if you want him to be your boyfriend then get alone with him and tell him you like him and let him kiss you.

But take your time and make him wait a good few weeks before even getting his hands on your bum or under your top. He has to know that he has to respect you before anything like that happens again.

If you don't want to be more than friends then tell him you only like him as a friend, and then don't see him for a while. You are only leading him on by getting so close and allowing him to snuggle up with you.

Good Luck!! xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009):

I don't see a point in telling your ex. If you were still together then he should know but now that you're not together there's really no point. that's just extra pain for him for no reason, and probably extra anger too. He may not want to be friends anymore if he found that out. Do you want to hurt him and make him and angry and lose him as a friend.

Also, next time you plan on breaking up with someone, i would suggest keeping it to yourself. It's disrespectful to the person who you're with to go around telling everyone you're going to break up with him. If the situation were reversed, i don't think you would feel too well. If you wouldn't care, then maybe he wouldn't either and i'm sorry i said anything. I was just making a suggestion.

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A female reader, Audrina Australia +, writes (17 April 2009):

He would have know that you would wake up. He knows that you know. Maybe just sit down and talk about whats happened. Like So what was going on with u on the bus...?

Be honest with your ex if you are still on semi-friendly terms. Like...hey i still respect and though u should know...

Just be honest with your feelings for both situations, you cant go wrong when u tell the truth.

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