A
female
age
30-35,
*oloved89
writes:Dear Cupid,How am I supposed to feel about my fiance talking about another female? This includes whenever I'm around him/when I'm not.He has even talked about how good another girl looks when I was on the phone with him one night. He was having a conversation with his brother. I feel disrespectful when he does this. Even when I catch him looking at a girl. Last Friday (January 29), he and I went out to eat, and when we were finished eating one of the waitresses walked by our table to go clean another and he looked at her as she walked by then looked straight at me smiling and said "what" because I caught him looking. It makes me feel so bad and disrespected. Should I be upset with the fact that he has said to me that he's attracted to other females?? Because he has told me that he is. I feel like that if a guy is committed he should ONLY be interested in his girlfriend or fiance. Not brag or boast about another female.
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female
reader, soloved89 +, writes (6 February 2010):
soloved89 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the answers. Whenever he looks at another, I always mention it to him and he always says something like "I dont want her. You're the one thats my girl." But whenever I say something about a cute dude he automatically assumes I want to f*** that dude or that I simply want to be with that dude. Maybe he does just like to piss me off.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 February 2010):
If he's bragging or boasting about other women, and then has the nerve to stand there, smile at you and say "what", then he is REALLY not worth your time. Dump him and find a guy who will respect you.
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A
female
reader, BagOfJoy +, writes (6 February 2010):
He might want to make you jealous.How do you react when he does this?Do you look like you don't care?If the answer is yes,then that's what he'll think.
Next time he does this,tell him that you feel disrespected and ask him if he would leave you for any of them and ask for some reasons.If he says yes,then you should have some kind of break and if he seems crushed and you think he really loves you, then tell him that he shouldn't talk about/or look in a certain way at other women when you two are together 'cause if he doesn't want to make you jealous he'll do that anyway but only when you're not around to see him.
Best wishes!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2010): Every couple will have a different dynamic that works for them. I know that for me in my relationship with my girlfriend I do not find myself to be interested in other women at all. We have been together for four years and this has always been the dynamic between us. However for friends of mine this is not their dynamic. Some couples are always interested in other people when in relationships whereas others thrive in complete monogamy without experiencing this urge.
There are always other women and men around but in some relationships none of these men and women matter. If your dynamic is not what you like then you have to adjust it. Perhaps you will benefit from opening your own eyes to see other men that you find attractive, and indulging yourself in that way, so that it is an equal balance. If you cannot stop him from doing it, which you probably can't because that is his personality, then you will have to adjust. Or find a man that fits more into your expectations.
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