A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Yesterday, my boyfriend and i made tentative plans to get together. His parents were in town so he was not sure if he would actually get a chance to see me but he told me he would call me when he knew for sure if he could. well, he ends up not calling me and i finally get in touch with him at the end of the evening. i was a little hurt by this point because i felt like it was inconsiderate of him to not call. i told him i felt this way and it was because he said his mother had emotionally drained him and he was getting over his cold so he was tired. I understood being sick and what it is like to have a mother drain you but i still feel like it does not take but a second to call someone to let them know. he was not particularly apologetic because he said he was emotionally drained and he was miffed that i was not sensitive to his situation. I am not sure how to proceed. i really want to be sensitive to him but i still feel that i am entitled to respect. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2009): I forgot to mention that this isnt the first time. the third or 4th time- but he always has an excuse- he was stressed about work, he was exhausted, he was upset about losing money in the stock market.... he always turns it around on me saying that by questioning his ability to deliver, i am questioning his caring for me and if i just trusted that he loves and cares for me then i would know that he tries his best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2009): I think the key word here is tentative plans....there may have been some miscommunication on this point....he should have called, but he didn't and I would just take his excuse at face value, he was sick and his mom wore him out......since the moment has passed I would just forget it.
Next time he cancels or doesn't call though, I would reward him with distance. Don't accept his calls for awhile and be truly busy with your own life and he will stop taking you for granted.....
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A
male
reader, 24yeahright  +, writes (31 January 2009):
He's sick and probably feeling sorry for himself like a little baby. It's ok, we all act childish sometimes.If it happens again under different circumstances, get angry.
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