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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I need help. I care alot about my boyfriend but lately i've been stressing about our relationship. We've been together over 3.5 years and while I care about him, I've begun feeling really frustrated by him. I look at my friend's pictures with their boyfriends on facebook and they look really good together but my boyfriend and I don't. Friends have even told me in the past that they think I could better, and at the time I was very saddened by their comments but I ignored them, but now I find myself wondering if they were right all along. I don't mean to be shallow but I feel like I put a lot of effort into looking good for him. But I feel he doesn't understand how important it is to me. It's not that he's horrible or anything, but I just find myself picking him apart. In addition he's losing his hair and I know that soon he will be bald, and unfortunately I just find myself not attracted to bald men. I know that this happens to all men at some point, but I just didn't think it would happen so young with him, and I don't know if I can handle it. I know how shallow all of this must sound, and I really don't want to feel this way. I just find myself angry and frustrated about us...and I don’t know what to do to fix it. I've told him how I feel, and he wants to try and improve...but I just can't stop feeling like I want more from him.... Any advice you have is greatly appreciated!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): So you told him? has he tried to change? dress up more? Attraction is important, do you really want to be stuck in a relationship your not happy in just because people will be calling you shallow? No, everyone diffrent and I'm not going to slay anyone for that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): hi I'm the original poster of this message and I just have to say thank you for the advice. To clarify what I meant, I just can't stop comparing my bf to my friend's bfs. I used to be so in love with him, but lately I find myself thinking why can't I have both an attractive partner, and a good boyfriend. I guess I just feel frustrated because I feel like he gets the best of both worlds out of me, but I don't get that from him, and the truth is I don't know how we could fix that?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): I know EXACTLY how you feel. I love my husband sooo much, but he's not the most attractive person. I didn't even like him at first, I used to be very shallow and hung out with the popular, good looking people in school. Then I met him after school ended.. and after talking to him I fell in love.I know I'm attractive, as you probably do too. I try so hard to make sure I look good all the time.. he doesn't. He would wear sweatpants to go out if I let him. It's so sad cuz we are both young. He's not clean and it's just gross sometimes.I haven't been totally honest with him, have you?I think the best thing is probably to tell him exactly how you feel? Tell him that you try soo hard to be attractive. Let him watch as u get ready one day so he'll see how much time you spend to please him. I think alot has to do with how they were raised. if they weren't raised by a mother who demanded for them to shower daily, exercise, eat healthy, then they are definitely not gonna worry about it now! And they probaly think that just because they got a pretty girl with their looks that they dont need to try anymore.idk if anything can be done about baldness.. why dont u just start buying him hats and beanies? Tell him it makes him look younger.. and who wouldnt want that?! lolgood luck!!!! =))
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