A
female
age
36-40,
*eezy41
writes:Hello, I met this guy online and started to talk for almost 2 months. He is in military active but he is a national guard. We went on several dates. Most of the times he texted me when he is depressed cause of his family issue or he is lost his friends at the war and i always cheer him up.Whenever he is having fun, he does not text me. I guess he does not need me. He went for training for 2 weeks.. he told me he is having fun and gets to meet new people. I havent heard from him for 2 days. So i decided to text him. He answers me late.idk what i should do at this point. He introduced me to most of his coworkers. What should i do?
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co-worker, depressed, military, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (21 July 2017):
 His behaviour changed because he lost interest and to be honest, I can't entirely blame him.
Clearly you have nothing going on in your own life that you're not willing and able to stand in the dust waiting for him. Where is the excitement in that?
Time to move on. It's only been three months. He can hardly be considered the love of your life.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 July 2017):
 Sleeping with him well not make him want you, it will only see that he is able to use you. If he was interested enough he would show it.
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A
female
reader, deezy41 +, writes (3 July 2017):
deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAfter 3 months of dating, he barely contacts me and he does not ask me on an actual date. I am thinking about cause i did not sleep with him? I am just not ready.
What makes guy change their action after a while?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (21 June 2017):
You didn't do anything wrong, he wants someone who is there for him when he needs them but he is not willing to put in any effort. I think you need to see that you and him are on different levels.
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A
female
reader, deezy41 +, writes (21 June 2017):
deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy heart is broken. He is back from training and i know he had tough 2 weeks. As soon as he is back, he texted me that his sister is arguing with his mom and that he is tired of playing nediator.
Next day it was raining and he asked me to take a walk in the rain. I told him i was gonna go to the gym but postponed it tmr. I sent 2 seperate text. As soon as he read i was gonna go to the gym, he said nvm go work out. Then he received the 2nd text which is will postpone it tmr.... he backed out. Eventhough i asked him if he wants to go out, he said nah, not feeling himself. I felt like a idiot.
I said ok. And we never talked after. What did i do wrong to deserve this? All i want is, in a relationship with him. I havent seen him for 3 weeks.i feel like out of sight, out of mind for him...
I have pride. I dont know what to do
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (19 June 2017):
It seems that you are only their to pick him up when he is down. For me it doesn't look like he is interested in anything serious, so if you are then I would suggest chatting with him about where you stand.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2017): He trusts you as a friend he can trust.
He feels safe to reveal the inner man, and who he is really, when he is down.
Sounds like he is feeling particularly vulnerable due to the grief of losing his co-workers. He may need some professional counselling for his grief and for the fear within himself that he could be next.
You have been a consistent loyal reliable friend to him and everyone needs some friends.
He knows he can trust you.
You are his very safe sounding board.
He appreciates you as a friend.
He obviously feels too vulnerable in his position to reveal his vulnerabilities to his co workers and not to his superiors.
You are his safe port in a storm.
You are not his love interest. That is sad and tough for you to face.
Encourage him to look at his own life now to see where he can enlist additional support or where he can embrace a healthier lifestyle if he is choosing food or alcohol on occasions to deal with his issues.
You though should also do the same. Do not wait home for his call.
Do go out and meet people.
Do choose to enhance your life with some positive steps that allow you to meet more than just online guys.
Join a group in your community where you would like to associate with that group to learn a new skill, or do good in the community or to socialize with your peers.
Your life should not be put on hold just because he does not contact you.
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A
female
reader, Ciar + ♥, writes (9 June 2017):
Move on.
He only contacts you when he's down. You're a counsellor, not a love interest.
Just ghost him.
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