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My 8 year old daughter is telling people she has a brother when she is an only child, how do I deal with this situation?

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Question - (5 April 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have just got back from having a chat with my daughters teacher.My daughter is 8yrs old.The teacher had mentioned about my daughter being tierd one particular day.She had told her teacher that her young brother had kept her awake most the night.

I was taken back by this as she doesn't have a brother,she is an only child.Her teacher says she often talks about her brother.I am a single parent and very close to my daughter.I told the teacher she is an only child.

Its obvious to me my daughter would love a sibling,it does brake my heart that this is not going to happen.She often asks me if i will give her a brother or sister.I make sure she has plenty of friends around to play with at the weekend and holidays.She has lots of friends at school,but fear if these lies she is telling will get her into trouble and she will become isolated.

Other than this she is an out going girl,who shares,who is loved by everyone.What i'm asking is how to deal with this situation,or if anyone else has an only child how they deal with this.

Thanks

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

WOW,thanks guys for all your replies,it is much appreciated,feeling much better about it now.

Thanks again.x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011):

I had a friend when I was that age that was an only child and she said the same thing. Only it was an older sister. She's 19 and in college now. She lives a normal life and is not a lair. I think she was just lonely and wanted a sibling. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Get her a puppy or kitten or something. Obviously you can't give her a brother or sister because your a single parent, but an animal might help. I would talk to her and see how she feels about no siblings.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011):

My daughter is an only child and she used to say she had a sister. She told teachers and friends. She longed for a sister when she was younger. She is now 19 and the thoughts of her having a younger sister or brother would drive her to distraction.

As long as your daughter has friends round often and she sounds like a lovely little girl, I dont think I would worry to much. It will be something she will grow out of as my daughter did.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (5 April 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt But, are we sure there any particular, specific psychological issues with being an only child ?

In UK, there are 3.43 million homes with only children . 46 per cent of all families.

The number of families who are planning to have no more than one child is on the rise, and if this trend continues in a couple of decades, only children will be MORE than children with siblings.

Being an only child is normal, not something to be handled

gingerly with extra care and extra attention . Of course, learning proper socialization skills ,learning empathy, how to function in a group, how to share , etc.etc. is very important. But it's not necessary to have triplets to do that , playgrounds and kindergarten are enough .

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (5 April 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt Don't worry, there are a lot of kids that have an active imagination and come up with all sorts of stuff about imaginary friends and imaginary families. It's a phase , and in lack of other symptoms, it does not mean the kid is unhappy or lonely.

When I was about 5 , I had an imaginary friend whom I was always talking about. I still remember her perfectly : her name was Louise and she was, for some reason, Austrian. My mom thought that I felt lonely and that was a very contributing factor to her decision of giving me a sibling. So, I have a sister .

All I can say, I often thougt I'd very gladly exchange her for my Austrian friend ,LOL !

Kidding - but just partially. My sister is only 6 years younger than me, but that's already a lot . We had separate friends, separate toys, separate childhoods really. When you are ten, you can't really play with a child who's four. We did get closer waaay into our adulthhod; but what a child needs, IMO, is socializing with his age group, which your daughter is already doing i. She is outgoing, she gets along with her little mates.... don't go find problems where there are none.

I have raised an only child. He did not grow up to be a selfish , spoiled, dysfunctional weirdo. In fact at 21 he is simply a great guy - it may have been nature over nurture,- surely it does not depend from me having had any special mothering skills - anyway the point is , don't worry , only children ROCK !

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A female reader, lovelyeyes United States +, writes (5 April 2011):

Like eyeswideopen said kids do have a huge imagination. But I have an 8 year old they now should know what the difference is from make believe and what is real. U should prob try getting her a puppy or some kind of pet. My nephew is an only child and he tries soo hard to fit in w/other kids by making things up like them just to fit in. My sister finaly got him a pet and it was the best thing ever cause now all he talks about is how cool it is to have a puppy. That got things off of his mind for a while. (His mom can't have any more children cause of complications). So If u don't mind having a pet see if your child would like 1 and you'll see it does help.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (5 April 2011):

eyeswideopen agony auntAt her age, children will invent imaginary playmates. It's just a phase, she isn't lying she's imagining. There is a difference. Relax Mom, she'll grow out of it.

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