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Mom told me I can't see my boyfriend. Should I take a taxi and go there?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 December 2016) 9 Answers - (Newest, 29 December 2016)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I want to go to my boyfriends house, but my mom told me I can't tomorrow! I looked at taxi services in my area and was wondering should I call a taxi and go to his house without my mom knowing and then come back home before she gets home??

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (29 December 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntWhat decision did you make, OP?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2016):

I'm 37 and still grounded when I did that at 14. Still grounded!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2016):

Well the answer is no, obviously. When you have a teenage daughter you will understand why the thought of her doing this is so frightening.

I cannot conceive that a decent taxi driver would drive a 13/14/15 year old wherever she wanted to go without having some misgivings about it. If I were a cab driver and was confronted with this I would refuse the fare. I would leave you in the safety of your house where you wouldn't be ordering a taxi if you weren't up to no good, because I would not want to be implicated in whatever you were up to.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 December 2016):

Honeypie agony auntYou want your mom to trust you and treat you like a young person, not a kid, correct?

So BEHAVE and start thinking LIKE a young person and not a kid.

She has told you that tomorrow you can't see him, so Skype, call, text him and talk. Find a day your MOM is OK with you seeing him (I presume she is the person who takes you back and forth?).

If you take a taxi and go see him, then you will later have to lie about it and then what? You mom might say you can't date at all or she won't take you anymore. You have to start using some common sense here unless you want to be treated like a child - stop acting like one.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (28 December 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntShe only said you can't see him tomorrow, so be responsible and don't go. A lot of people your age aren't allowed boyfriends/girlfriends, so don't become untrustworthy and prove to her that you're not mature enough for a relationship.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (28 December 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt I think we need a little background to answer that effectively.

While of course it is never a good idea to encourage a person your age in disobeying her parents and acting devious , and it would be very arrogant of us DearCopiders to do that, the " how to " handle your mother's prohibition would change according to context and circumstances. Like, is she against you dating in general, or this particular boy, and why. Are you forbidden to be home alone with him ( understandable... ) but it's ok if you hang out in public. And so on and so forth.

Since you say that your mom won't let you go to see your bf's TOMORROW, I'll take it to mean that for whatever reason the ban is on for only tomorrow ( and your mom may have very valid reasons for having decided that tomorrow is not a good day for you to see him, or for her to drive you there ) but you will be able to meet him another day or days in the next future. If this is the case,- please act " grown up " and mature. The first distinctive trait of adulthood is being able to delay gratification. It's small children who want what they want when they want it, and throw big rebellious tantrums if they can't get it ar once .

What's the difference if you see him tomorrow , or in two days or in a week ? You can text and talk on the phone in the meantime, and if he cares about you, his feelings will not change a iota. Plus, alas, both you and him have to come to terms with the fact that , until you won't be of legal age ,financially independent, and able to have your own cars, apartments , etc.- yes, inevitably the adults you live with will have a say in when and how and for how long you two see each other- and the best way to have ample leeway , and relaxed rules about that , is to show them that you are reliable , sincere and trustworthy- not to sneak away as soon your parents turn their back !

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A female reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] United States +, writes (28 December 2016):

[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony auntConsidering your age, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I would abide by your mothers wishes and not see him. If he truly cares about you, he will understand that you cannot disregard your moms wishes and that you'll see each other in a few days. I know it's hard to be away from them sometimes, but you could call and text in the mean time.

I think it'd be better than to go out in a taxi and have your mother worried sick. Don't you think?

Let me know how everything goes. Just be careful and please make the right choice.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (28 December 2016):

Fatherly Advice agony auntWe need more information before answering this question. In general I would never advise a person in your age range to disobey their parent. But, I would never advise a parent to try to restrain a teenager in this way either. My teenaged children are now 18 and older and I know very well how impossible and fruitless that can be.

I would encourage you and your mother to calmly and rationally discuss the reasons and options for dealing with this issue.

Being a teen is a dangerous and difficult time of life. You need everyone you can get on your team. Especially your mother. Think long and hard before breaking trust with her.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (28 December 2016):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntYes, do it . . . if you want your mum to lose any trust she has in you.

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