A
female
age
41-50,
*ubaab
writes:please i need very serious advise. i am from middle east from muslim culture.i am not religious person.my marriage was fail last year.it was not my fault.i saw my friends who marry with different cultures and have very good life.there marriages are successful.now i am interested to marry with american.but i am new in usa.i dont know are american interested to marry with middle eastern girl or not .any helpful advice.what is a best way to find love?or little bit information about american thiinking.what they think to marry different culture?thanks for all replies.
View related questions:
middle eastern, muslim Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 February 2015):
 Good point SVC. I knew Muslims from Syria and Lebanon, for instance ,who were very fair -skinned, and green-eyed too, so personally I am aware that Muslims belong to different races according to geographic location - it was a lapsus, or a mental shortcut . I guess it's the same for the Anon, still you did well in underlining how we are actually talking about interFAITH relationships,not necessarily also interracial.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 February 2015):
 when did being Muslim become a race? I thought it was a religion.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (18 February 2015):
Anon of Feb. 18th- maybe I did not make myself clear. I never said that interracial relationship can't be beautiful- they can be as beautiful, or not so beautiful, as any other relationship. After all, it's two PEOPLE coming together and there's more to any person than just his/her religious affiliation .
I was simply remarking on the very well known fact that, a Muslim MALE is allowed to marry a non-Muslim woman ( only Christian or Jewish though )but not the other way around.
If the MAN does that, he does not commit any sin, breaks any religious law, or even does anything socially reproachable. It's ok - not recommended maybe, but totally acceptable.
BUT the same is not true for a Muslim FEMALE. She can ONLY marry a Muslim male . If she does not , there are consequences, that go from social ostracism, and break of all family ties in the best cases, to jail and even death in worst case scenario.
Of course there are exceptions- mostly in very sophisticated,elitarian circles. In Italy our biggest and richest steel manifacturer married an Arab woman- and it's all fine. They live between Montecarlo and Italy, and their social, financial and intellectual clout makes it so that they do not have to worry too much about prejudice or social acceptance . Which, anyway , has not prevented HER from receiving death threats, reason for which wisely she never sets foot in any Muslim country.
Particularly now in these troubled times- a Muslim woman marrying a non- Muslim guy should be aware of the risks this entails. She may be an atheist- she may not care about losing friends or family members over her marriage
( which, in the eyes of even a lukewarm Muslim, is still a big BIG no-no ) but she MUST be aware that her decision may rub the wrong way some Jihadist on the loose even in Western countries, and more so in Islamic countries.
Of course , all sacrifices can be faced and all risks can be run because of true love. But it does not sound like the OP has in mind any specific object of true love she cannot live without. Just a vague idea that it would be nice to marry a non-Muslim American. That, to me, warrants thinking it over - twice.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (1 June 2010):
I am surprised when you mention yr Muslim friends marrying out of their religion- are you sure about that ?
as a Muslim female, you are not allowed by your religion to marry a non Muslim male.
That would be apostasy- and apostasy excludes you from your family and from the "umma "- (the community of believers ".
Who cares, you can say- I am not religious anyway, I don't believe in this stuff.
Ah yes, but then you have to stay in USA forever, it would be risky going back to your country for a visit.
Because apostasy is punished with jail in any Muslim country - and in some ,at least in theory, even with flogging and death.
So, you would have to find a Muslim American ,or an American willing to convert ( at least officially ,even if not in his heart )
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): OK look !!
first of all as a Muslim girl myself I'm really sorry to tell u that Muslim women are NOT allowed to marry non-Muslim men !! and it's because in Islam children follow the father's religion and if the father is not a Muslim then the kids won't be Muslims !!
and so your marriage would be regarded as an adultery rather than a marriage .. and for those who are not Muslims who will be reading this, u have to know that we are not alone in this !!
religious Jews don't allow their sons marring non-Jewish women .. because according to their believes a child can only be Jewish if his/her mother was Jewish for example Steven Spielberg made his second wife Kate Capshaw convert to Judaism so he could marry her but in the other hand you've got Ben Stiller whose wife is catholic ... and why do Jews do that ? well you're not really considered Jewish in Israel if your mother wasn't Jewish ( fair enough )
now that was my first point which is marring a non Muslim is forbidden but if you're not religious at all then I'm sure you won't really care about it !!
now my second point is WHY EXACTLY AN AMERICAN !!
I don't know but an American and a middle eastern won't really work, I mean you don't want him calling you a terrorist or a camel jockey when his angry !!! ( I'm not saying he would but when people get mad they say all kinds of bad words )
and then Culture differences are really HUGE ( if you don't drink alcohol or eat pork then it would be a problem ) but if you do then that's not a problem at all for yah ...
and finally if you are doing it to get a Citizenship then shame on you cuz it's not worth it ..
marriage is a responsibility we marry because we want to spend our lives with that special person not to Deceit them
but anyway I respect the fact that you wrote this and asked for opinions I hope you find the answer for your question and to tell you the truth I'm like you ..
I'm not a religious Muslim and it's a shameful thing for me actually, because god's blessings in my life are endless yet I'm doing nothing for him in return, I don't drink alcohol and I don't eat pork and I'm still a virgin at 19 but it didn't stop me from falling in love with an American guy I can never marry him even though we love each other but we're good friends and I wish him all the best ..
and I wish you that as well
...............................
|
