A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone.i know meeting people online is so common yet there is still negative stigma attached to this. honestly, before anyone gets all critical let me remind you i am not out for cyber fun. i just met somebody online and he confessed to liking me back within the first couple or so weeks of chatting. we met on a language exchange site. we are both of eastern cultures and are serious so neither of us are faking or just out there for fun. this is real. we're in our early 20's, he is afghan, i am arabic and russian. we are educated and normal. it's been more than a month.i am not asking for help about the long distance relation per se, or how to meet, or when, or anything like this. this is planned out. rather my questions is about exes and opposite gender friends while in a relationship (or a soon-to-be relationship seeing as we did not meet yet).i don't have much experience in the romantic department and he has much less than i, in fact none. i have hooked up with about 2 or 3 guys before (no sex) and had one serious bf before. i tend to notice that when one guy gets serious with me and i like him, that all my past suddenly enrages me, and makes me feel as though i had cheated. it's not the exes that bother me, it's the fact that we still spoke on friendly and sometimes even more friendly terms just as i had begun to chat or date the new person. i get paranoid and begin thinking of the word cheating and if i had committed this act...so my question is, for those perfectionists out there,is it normal to still hang out/see/talk with exes even on more than friendly terms while starting to like/date someone else? how long until you end the other guys totally before becoming one with the new one?just to clarify, i did not cheat per se, but i still hung out with an old hook up (no sex ever) while i began liking the new guy i mentioned online and we both confessed feelings. so what does everyone think?
View related questions:
long distance Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dazey  + ♥, writes (10 November 2009):
Relax!!
It seems as though you don't tend towards physical relationships, and for a lot of people that's where the boundary between friend and boy/girlfriend lies. So where does it lie for you?
You sound genuine, honest and with honourable intentions. I think that you should trust your own judgement and hang out with who you want. Boyfriends/girlfriends and exes are all just people and while realtionships always change I think very few just completely disappear and exes are a fact of life.
I think as long as you don't make anyone any promises that would conflict with your interest in your main squeeze you should feel happy.
Good luck!
|
