A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi thanks for reading. I meet this guy on pof and been talking and we finally set a date to meet up. The day came and went because I tried to confirm with him heard no reply. Asked if everything was ok no reply till a week later. Then he messaged me say he been busy at work and having things done to his house so I said ok and we talked for about a day. Then nothing for another week again. But I don't understand have I done something wrong, or is he just blowing me off. Because before 2 weeks ago we talked ever few days and it was nice he was the one that suggested we meet and he even said I think this could be start of something good then nothing. Please help I am so confused and don't know what to do xxx
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 February 2015):
 You haven't done anything wrong, or, actually what you are doing wrong is being a tad naive and way too nice with someone who is an arrogant, inconsiderate jerk.
Whaaaat ? he stands you up, no cancellations, no apologies, no explanations- he just shows up one week later with some cockamamie story ( " I was having things done around the house"?, what does it mean ? that the painters or plumbers just showed up unannounced JUST right before he was coming to meet you, and forced their way in ? Did he not know in advance that on that week or day he was going to have things done at home, therefore it was not a good time for a date ?... ).
Things DO happen to mess up plans last minute, but he had a week to shoot you a text with " something came up, we'll reschedule ", and he CHOSE to omit that.
So ,after that, you are still giving him attention, and waiting with bated breath for his decisions.. and THIS is what you are doing wrong.
Look, it happens a lot on dating sites, it's really nothing weird or mysterious, it's sort of a " professional risk " of internet dating. This guy, either already has a Gf,as surmised by Honeypie, or , simply, was talking to you AND 10 or 20 other girls for all you know. Between the time you agreed on the date, and the day when it was supposed to happen... someone else popped up and beat you to this " prize ". Btw, you do not need to take it personally like " Oh she mist be beautiful while I am only cute" or stuff like that. The advantage your competition may have had over you, their stronger claim to this guy's interest,- could simply be that of living closer to his place, or indicating clearly their sexual availability, or even simply of being a new profile on the site.
"but... he said he was interested, he said he liked me... " Sigh... eh darling, OF COURSE he said that. Do you think guys would get many responses, much attention if they said " hey, tbh I am just here for the ego boost" or " I am just bored and killing some time ,and I am probably going to change my mind about you real soon ? "
They have to say something nice to get dates ( which then they may, or may not, show up for ).
But then, you'll say, how do I know if they mean business or are just stringing me along ? How do I know if they are really interested or just flaky ?-
It's simple, OP:) those who are really interested DO show up. And keep showing up - punctual too, probably :) for the next date and the next and the next....
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (14 February 2015):
 Why do you presume YOU did something wrong?
HE chose to "ignore" you for a week, then chat then back to ignore... HOW is that YOUR fault? He set up a met, but "vanish" and then no apology, nothing.... HOW is that YOUR fault?
Ignore him back, delete his number, better yet BLOCK it.
If he WAS really interested, IF he really thought it could lead somewhere he WOULDN'T "forget" about you for a whole week.
My guess is, the guy has a GF. He is making you feel confused and worried and it might make you an easier "target" for a guy who wants just sex. Throw in a few sweet words and you will do ANYTHING to prove HE is right about you.
The thing is, a DECENT fella wouldn't be a no show. He would have the DECENCY to cancel if he couldn't met up, and he WOULD ask for another date.
This guy is STRINGING you along. FOR his ENTERTAINMENT.
Move on. Let this rat back in the sewer.
...............................
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