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Met my real sister on facebook but am feeling scared to meet up in real life!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 September 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 16 January 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *mithiieXoxO writes:

Hey

I’m 14 and I’ve just found my biological sister on facebook and she’s really nice and kind and she acts like she really cares about me and she’s just said she loves me even though we only met on facebook a few days ago. Let me start from the beginning. When I was born my mother had me adopted because she didn’t feel she could cope with 3 kids at 23. I do not and never have hated her for it though. I was fostered at a few days old and was even in the paper. I was finally adopted at a year old and have lived happily with my family for 13 years. I have always wanted to get to know my 'real' family and finally have joined facebook and have added everyone who has the name of my birth mother,, sister,, brother etc and my sister has accepted me and its definitely her no doubts about that I have proof and I love all of them soooo much I have all my life and now I’ve found them I don’t know what to do next. My sister has said they would like to meet me and no one understands how much that would mean to me. It would be like meeting a celebrity or the queen for anyone else but timed by 99999999 million trillion. My question is that should I be feeling at all weird and scared about this?

I don’t mean nervous, scared but scared that she won’t like me. No one could possibly understand what this is like unless they are in my situation so this question is mainly aimed at them, please.

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A female reader, SmithiieXoxO United Kingdom +, writes (16 January 2010):

SmithiieXoxO is verified as being by the original poster of the question

SmithiieXoxO agony auntive spoken to my mum and sister about it and as my sister works shes said that we will meet up in the summer. but my mum has said she will meet me when the snow clears u as shes in brighton and im,, not in brighton,, soooo :D im having a load of mixed feelings about this. exactly how the first anonymous described the ' what if i meet my birth parents' scene which has been in my head for as long as i can remember. i feel worried that they wont like me, nervous like i wont be what theyre expecting and stuff liek that. thanks any way guys youve all helped me loads (: i cant talk to my friends about this as they all go quiet and uncomfortable and dont know what to say. of course i dont blame them as im good at imagining and can put myself in their shoes. thanks! (: xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009):

Glad it was helpful! You're very lucky! Pleas elet us know how it went (or goes!).

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A female reader, SmithiieXoxO United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2009):

SmithiieXoxO is verified as being by the original poster of the question

SmithiieXoxO agony auntthabnks everone its all helped loads xx

especially to the first one from anonymous as it halped me realise that as they said i should go for it aas ive dreamed of doing it for as long as i can remember

thanks guyss

xxxxx

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A female reader, Cheekers89 United States +, writes (4 September 2009):

I know that you said your question is mainly aimed at people in your situation. Though I am not in that same situation as you are, I've seen it from the other point of view.

My cousin was adopted out into Foster Care when she was a few weeks old, due to poor judgement on her mother's addiction to drugs. She's half your age. When I finally got to meet her, I was so nervous! But I was excited all the same. It's okay to be scared. I'm sure my cousin was scared too. But it was delightful getting to meet her.

I wouldn't worry at all about your sister liking you. I'm sure she will. She might not act it, at first, it might because she's scared also. If you're really unsure, how about you tell her on facebook that you're scared? Maybe she'll help you with your worries. Just be yourself, and I'm sure things will go just well for you dear.

I wish you the best on meeting your real family. You're a brave young lady, for having the courage to find out who they really are, and wanting to meet them. Good luck!

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A female reader, SugarCookie United States +, writes (4 September 2009):

I just went through this a year and a half ago. I had a half sister and brother I had never met and my dad didn't know where they were and I found them through myspace. I was nervous to meet them. My brother was nice and my sister definitely had the sassy family attitude. I was worried she wouldn't like me because we are 12 years apart in age but I got the courage met her about a week after we met online and now we talk all the time. I cant see her much because we live in different states. She will like you and you will have a larger family so just go meet her.

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A male reader, romance_boy18 Canada +, writes (4 September 2009):

romance_boy18 agony auntif she says that she truly loves you then appearence has nothing to it hun. she said it herself but i know what you mean, to meet a relative you never seen yet knew you had. when you go meet her just take deep breath before you do. you love her and she loves you and thats what truly matters. hope i helped hun

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009):

Feeling aprehesive is natural - but you need to trust that she's telling you the truth. I'm sure that your bio-Mom has wondered over and over how you are, what you look like, are you healthy, do you hate her... she too probably has fear about this.

The way I see it you've taken a very long trip and are nearly home, you've played the "what if I find my birth parents" senario many times in your head, and now your very close to seeing it done.

Go meet them, try not to have any expectations, but know that you'll be loved and go!

There are thousands of adopted people who WISH they were where you are- GO FOR IT!

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