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Me and my friend are both pregnant by the same guy and now we're not talking... help!

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 December 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 8 December 2008)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

hi me and my friend are both 14 and we both got pregnent by the same person please help, we are loosing are friendship over this the guy is gonna be 17 in 2 weeks and we both love him he bought us both the same ring and me and my friend just figured it out we leaked the name... and then it all went downhill and i need some advice... the same father for both of our babies we wanted our children to grow up and get married i guess thats not gonna happen now... i am so scared and so is she we like arent even talking right now and it's killing me what should i do?

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A female reader, Mixylicious United Kingdom +, writes (8 December 2008):

Hi, wow im kinda shocked at this because your only 14. Im not going to judge you cos things happen i suppose. well was any of you with this guy? well to me im appauled mainly @ him. try talking to your friend put differences a side cos there are two innocent babies now so think about your self & the baby not other people. try talking to a doctor or someone who could help you more & then try and re build your friendship. please dont make harsh decisions because you have fell out with your friend please think about your well being & your unborn baby. good luck xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008):

listen. forget about your friend and the father of the baby. concentrate on you and your baby. they are the most important things. i'm 14 and have a 1 year old (nearly. the boy who got me pregnant was 19. we are still together but we did break up while i was pregnant bcos i wanted to concentrate on the baby and that is what you should be doing. he is the one who will be paying for it!! make him involved. the baby needs a daddy however crap he may be he is still your baby's daddy and should be given a chance. good luck with ur baby

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008):

Tell me are you expecting a fairy tale.you have a baby coming and you are in dream land,believe me you are in for a rude awakening

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A female reader, shiraz United Kingdom +, writes (8 December 2008):

hiyah im gunna be honest i was shocked at your age, bringing another life into the world is huge, im not going to patronise you as i think given time you will see this foryourself the only problem is you will start to run out of time so its something you need to sort now. friendships are important but your missing the point, you are pregnant at 14 and you do not mention in your post of being pregnant at your age being a problem, this is scarey but true at the same time. you have another life growing inside you yet your more worried about your friendship? something seems wrong here and i may be wrong but it seems your mind is somewhere that can wait!

you really need to sit and think about what your going to do now, your life is going to change whatever you decide to do, your in a situation that you need to grow up instantly into a different world and become something your not. your more interested about your mate than your unborn baby and things like that make me so mad there are adults out there desperate for a baby do you think like that? its something that you seem a million miles away from and im sorry its blunt but you need to wake up and make descions you are in a situation you need to sort, this is on your shoulders this is your life you need to do the right thing not just for yourself but for your unborn baby. please post again to let me know how this works out best of luck please look after yourself and focus on the important things that really matter . xxx

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A female reader, sappygirl United States +, writes (8 December 2008):

sappygirl agony auntWhy are you so concerned about your friendship, when you have bigger issues to deal with right now.

YOU ARE PREGNANT AT 14!!!! Do you know how BIG that is?

Do you know how your life will be forever change from this point on?

You are still a minor so you need to discuss this with your parents.

Forget the Boy..Forget about your friend.

This is about YOU and your unborn child. You need to grow up and think maturely on what is the right thing to do for you and the unborn child. Turn to a trusted adult who can help you come to a conclusion.

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A female reader, Teacake United States +, writes (8 December 2008):

Teacake agony auntAbortion or adoption depending how far along you are. Since your parents are going to be grandparents you need to ask them what to do. Us strangers can only give you ideas, but your parents will know exactly what to do.

If both of you girls have and keep the babies, you will be in each others lives forever. The babies are siblings. The boy will be in both of your lives too as he will always be the father. Your parents need to talk to the girls parents perhaps and perhaps the boys parents and hopefully discuss this as calmly as possible. But that is doubtful as everyone might be very angry and want to protect their children from each other and pass the blame elsewhere.

As you know, all 3 of you screwed up and innocent children are now the result of childish folly.

You now have a very adult decision to make. If you don't have an abortion, do you keep the baby and have drama for years to come? Or give the baby to a loving family?

The friendship with the other girl is not an issue really because the baby comes first. This is a horrible situation and I feel very bad for you. This is why parents don't want their children dating and getting mixed up in sex. I guess you figured that out now.

Anyhow, talk to your parents now because you will only be able to hide this for just so long and if you do opt for an abortion, to do it alone is horrible! GOOD LUCK!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008):

Do both your parents know about this??? If not make sure they know so they can help you both. If both of you didnt know that he was playing with the two of you i believe you two should remain friends. i wouldn't want to ruin a long time friendship over a jerk.

BEST OF LUCK

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