A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a blogger and I'm trying to get an interview with this married guy I'm semi-acquainted with on social media (I'm married too). We follow each other and we have never spoken until a few days ago when I asked him if he would be interested in allowing me to interview him for an upcoming piece I'm working on.He agreed and out of the blue he gave me his phone number (I didn't ask for it nor did I at any point even allude to exchanging numbers) and he told me to text him so we could work out a date and time next week. I was taken aback and embarrassed because there really is no need to communicate by phone because we have private messaging on the social media network as well as email. I feel really awkward so I chose to ignore the fact that he gave me his phone number and have been slightly pressing him through private messages to confirm the date and time. He is being extremely vague and will not answer me directly. It feels like he's purposefully being flakey trying like hell to get me to text him to get an answer (we both hinted at interviewing early next week). I don't know if I'm wrong or not, but the whole thing is weird. He's a nice man and he's interesting enough for me to want to interview him but I'm just wondering what's going here. Is he being inappropriate or am I just being paranoid? What should I do about this? I want to get my work done but he doesn't seem very cooperative at this point. :/
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 April 2017):
 I think you are reading to much in to it. You asked could you interview him so he gave you his phone number. I honestly think he was being helpful. If you don't wish to call or text then tell him you would rather just talk through social media but thanks anyway. It is possible he might not be on social media all the time.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (8 April 2017):
 Sorry but I disagree with many of the comments by other aunts and uncles. If you are in the business of news gathering it is completely normal to get someone's phone number.
You sound as if you may be new to this so I guess you haven't started building a contacts book. In it you should write all the phone numbers of people you have contacted or might want to contact.
If it is possible to interview the person face to face then you should, for reasons I set out earlier. However do it in a safe place like a hotel lobby. For extra safety tell someone where you will be and when. Don't change the plan without telling someone.
How do you think reporters get their interviews? Maybe from time to time they do get hit on but you should be able to rebuff any amorous advances and keep it professional.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2017): You establish rules and abide by them. You're married and he's married; and all you're looking for is an interview.
You can meet in a public place; alerting your husband of the time and place of course. It could be in sedate surrounding conducive to business-like discussion; but far from intimate. Best during daylight.
There's is far too much trepidation here. As though you're over-thinking/over-reading, and hoping more out of this than just an interview. He gave you a phone number, and it is up to you to do whatever you want. Ignore it, and interview by Skype; or just do a phone interview. End it at any point the discussion becomes inappropriate. It's for a blog, so face-to-face is just an option. Even by email.
If you're the interviewer; you're in-charge! Is it he you don't trust, or yourself? He's not a total stranger.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 April 2017):
 You can always THANK him for giving you the number but explain that you intend on conducting everything over the PM service and email.
I don't think he gave you the number because he has "ill intent" - personally, I think it kind of makes sense that you have it so HE can be available for Q & A.
I think YOU might be reading more into it than meant.
However, if it DOES make you uncomfortable - just explain how you intent on conducting the interview and "throw" out the number.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (7 April 2017):
 Don't give him your number and by that I mean don't text him. There is absolutely nothing that can be conveyed only through text and not via email.
Listen to your heart, if you feel something's wrong then it probably is.
If he's playing hard to get then ditch him and find someone else to do the interview with or change the piece you're writing. Since you're a blogger, I assume its fairly open ended and up to you to decide what you want to write on.
If you want to stick to the piece that you've decided on, then do it without interviewing this man.
Keep in mind that no blog in the whole world can be more important than your peace of mind and never be coerced into doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Stop contacting him and asking him for the meeting. If I were you then I would block this man on social media. You say that you might come across as paranoid... In that case I'm a freak! You can't be too safe in today's world and anyone that bothers you in the slightest should be out of sight, out of mind.
A senior from university suddenly started getting a bit too pally with me on Facebook and when I saw that he's crossing the limit, I blocked him immediately despite the fact that I knew him quite well at one point of time. Ditto with another acquaintance who started messaging at odd hours. There was not a second to be wasted. I wasn't interested in any small talk with either of them and I'm very happily married and not looking for any trouble.
You will never regret being too careful but you will always regret being not careful enough.
...............................
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (7 April 2017):
Interviews are always best done face to face. A good reporter can read body language and inflections, and know when to press and when not to.
If the distance between you is too great then phone or Skype might have to do. You can also present your questions in advance and let him send you the replies. You then write it up as if you were in the same room at the same time.
If you are worried about meeting him then choose a hotel lobby where coffee is served or drinks. It should be private enough to conduct the interview but with plenty of staff in the background should things develop in an undesirable way.
Just keep it professional!
...............................
|
