A
female
age
36-40,
*e022028
writes:Hi, my husband and I live apart due to me getting a job in another state and him staying behind to finish school. Every break I get I go visit him. This isn't true for him, he recently decided to stay home over his spring break because "there is nothing for him to do" in my small town. This hurts my feelings but if I tell him it makes me sad he tells me to stop adding stress on him. I have to be very cautious when trying to get him to call me on the phone because he is very busy or affects like it is a huge inconvenience to have to talk to me. He went skype with me because it is too hard for him to hold the phone up. That is his excuse. He does seem to have anxiety issues and now has wrist pain that he is going to the Dr. for so I am trying to ve understanding but honestly it feels like I am being taken advantage of. We have now lived apart for a year and he recently changed his major so we will now be apart another year. When I took this job I thought we would be apart four months tops. I don't know if I can go another year especially with minimal communication. I love my husband but this sucks. Any advice?P.s. I would be really surprised if he was cheating on me or anything.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 March 2016):
 Yes you do need to have a chat with him. Long distance can be very difficult on a relationship, but you both need to keep communication for it to work, and you need to be honest about how you are feeling to him.
A
female
reader, Ae022028 +, writes (25 March 2016):
Ae022028 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks you guys for the responses. We have a split system for paying bills, he gets money for school since he was in the military so that helps. It is amazing how hard it is on my side to start any hard discussion with him. When we talk I don't want to start any conflict so I rarely bring up any of my frustrations. I know that isn't helping the situation. We have talked the last two days so that has been nice. The first day I did bring up that it would be good to have a designated time to talk each day if possible. He was open to that so we will see. I think I will ask if we can Skype at least once a week. If he just growing distant that would be terrible as I love him very much and I think it might just be a sucky situation right now. I need to get up the courage to have a real heart to heart with him.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (23 March 2016):
It sounds like the connection has gone on his side. He has gotten lazy and doesn't want to make the effort with you any more. When you try and talk he tells you not to stress him out. I honestly think there is something he is not telling you. More than likely it is that he is losing feelings for you. His actions are shouting that out to me. I couldn't bare the fact off being away from my partner for that long, every chance I got I would be on the phone or going to visit, and I would want the same in return.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 March 2016):
 I have a few questions
who is paying his bills? if you are stop.
who initiates most of the contact? IF you do stop. wait and see how long it takes him to contact you. when he does.. be light and sweet... see how long it takes for the second time.
is your job going to be permanent meaning when he is done school he comes to you? if so this does not look good as he already does not like to "come home" has he ever considered where you live now home? if not, it does not bode well for him relocating to you.
I would go about my life, get busy, not worry about him.
stop paying his bills...stop being a doormat...
see how it goes.
but I think that you need to consider that he wants out and does not know how to ask.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2016): WHat can i say , it does not sound very good. Looks like he does not want to be with you this much
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