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Married and need help getting my wife in the mood!

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Question - (20 February 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2011)
A male United States age 41-50, *arryair writes:

Hi

I am having problems getting my wife in the mood, does anyone have any suggestions?

We have been married for 5 years and have a one year old child... Sex life was great while trying to get pregnant. Now It seems she's not into the mood to have sex very much like 2 times a month.

I have asked her what I can do and she says that she is happy with how things are with our sex life. I am at a loss to what I can do to make things more romantic for her..

thanks for any help

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (20 February 2011):

AskEve agony auntA great way to bring the passion back into a marriage is to CHALLENGE ONE ANOTHER - NO SEX FOR 2 WEEKS! Talk about it and draw up a chart together. I'll give an example based on a 2 week sex abstention.

For the next 2 weeks, (3 weeks, 4 weeks, you decide…) neither of you will have intercourse, instead you will talk and get to know each other and each others bodies again.

For the first 3 nights when you go to bed, cuddle up but NOTHING MORE, no kissing on the lips is allowed at this stage either. Talk about what turns you on, what you like (or would like) to do/try with your partner and what you like done (or would like done) to you.

On Night 4-6 you are allowed to stroke and caress one another but DO NOT go near the genitals or the breasts! Kissing any part of the body is allowed but again NOT the genitals and breasts.) Where do you like to be touched? Where are you and your partner’s erogenous zones? Are you even aware you have these?

On Night 7-9, kissing on the lips can be introduced again. Stroking and caressing is still allowed. You have gone a week without sex but stay disciplined and again no touching the genitalia or breasts.

On Night 10, plan to give one another a massage. The breasts can be massaged too and sucking of the nipples is allowed but again NO touching each others genitals!

Continue to combine all of these things until night 14… THE BIG NIGHT! I can guarantee if you have stuck with it and not had sex by this time you will be absolutely rampant for one another.

Plan your special night, (Night 14), set some ambience in the room by lighting candles and/or playing some soft music. Put nice clean sheets on the bed and bring up a bottle of wine (or two.) Shower and smell nice with aftershave/perfume. The woman can wear some sexy lingerie to entice you more if she chooses then just enjoy one another… Happy loving!!

~Eve~

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011):

How long has it been since she gave birth? Hormones are rather tricky after pregnancy, so you may have to give her body sometime to readjust.

Also, how do you approach her about sex? I once dated this guy who was so insistent about having sex that it completely turned me off. He would try the same things and it just wasn't working. You could try to spice things up. Maybe do things that you haven't done since you were dating... send her a sexy text message, or just take her by surprise with a long, steamy make out session. Good luck!

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