A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am very frustrated. My husband and I have been together almost 20 years. He has been experiences ED problems the past couple of years. He needs mental stimulation (such as him picturing me having sex with someone else) or just being unpredictable and adventurous. He calls me Sandra Dee. I need some advice on how I can be more sexual with him. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (24 October 2014):
 This is such an individual thing, I don't know how people who don't know him can help. It could be anything from a school-girl fantasy to being tied to the bed and stroked with a feather. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk. My husband is coming from out of state. We haven't seen each other in 10 days. Things have been tense as of late. I want to blow him away with an exciting and adventurous evening. I want to rock his world. Any suggestions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy husband also thinks I am boring. In and out of bed. Any suggestions on how I can be more exciting and adventureous
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2014): I am same anon.
We have a family friend, quite a pretty and desirable lady actually who was married to a man, somehow much older than he.He was also suffering from all those ailments + overweight for the last few years.He died about 2 months ago.She stood by him courageously till the very end and to the best of my knowledge she was totally faithful to him all through these years.I hope here is some consolation in her story.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou all make good points. We are both over 50. He has cardiovascular disease, HBP, diabetes. Viagra is no longer an option due to the medications he is on. Also several of the meds he takes have this side effect. I just feel like I am left to do it all and I feel I fail miserably.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (20 October 2014):
Kudos for the effort you're putting in! Your follow-up makes it sound a bit one-sided though. It's very true that "it takes two to tango" -- if he's not really trying, it's not fair for you to exhaust yourself. Is your communication as good as it needs to be?
There is a vast amount of erotic literature on the internet. Self publishing sites include ASSTR, Literotica, and StoriesOnLine. Quite a bit of it is awful, but there are gems. One author I quite like is
http://www.asstr.org/files/Authors/gentlebutfirm/www/index.html
A shout out to the anon response, who makes very valid points -- definitely worth considering.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice. I have used all the stories from my past along with made up stuff. Some really good. Have used the fantasies too. I just feel like I have run out of new stuff. He says it feels like a recipe. He says "tell me a story" and I get the deer in the headlight look. I can't seem to come up with anything. Also he feels he has given more than his fIr share so he lays there waiting for me to make things exciting. No kissing touching. No foreplay at all.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2014): ED can be either physical or psychological. Most probably is physical if he is over 50.Actually ED is the very early sign of having cardiovascular or prostate problems. He should visit the doctor and make comprehensive tests.He shouldn't take doctor's answer for granted if he says there is nothing wrong with his heart and so on, because as I say this is a very early sign.Also he should start eating healthy, exercising and taking more care of his health in general.
Sandra Dee is a beautiful actress so you shouldn't have doubts about your looks but no harm if you start taking more interest in your looks also, and start exercising, lose weight if you have excess pounds,change your hair and dressing styles and most important, be patient with his problems.ED is devastating for a man's ego and cause a lot of damage in the long run and cause lose of interest in work, depression, bitterness and lose of interest in life altogether.It is a very serious and debilitating illness. Encourage him to find a cure also consider taking Viagra temporarily till he regains his confidence in the bedroom.Sex is a wonderful act so one should never accept going without it.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (20 October 2014):
Have you told him any of your fantasies? The more turned on you are, the more he will be. And of course you'll want to work through as many of his fantasies as seem reasonable to you.
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