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Male FWB wants me to finger him and I don't want this. Am I being over sensitive?

Tagged as: Flirting, Friends with Benefits, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 19 June 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I just got into a casual fling type relationship with a guy at uni, he's in his final year and leaving this summer so its only for a few months. We haven't had sex yet but have been making out etc.

When we were making out last night with undies on he told me he was straight but he really enjoyed it when girls fingered his behind and could I do it for him?

I dont really want to do it lol. But he said he'd recently slept with a girl who had a reputation for sleeping around a lot, she introduced it to him and he found out he loved it, and it hurt but he found it a massive turn on.

It just grosses me out!! I know it doesnt involve ME being penetrated but I don't even want to do it with a condom on my finger or something?? am I being over sensitive?

I know it doesn't mean he's not straight lol.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (19 June 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntNo never do something sexually that you are not comfortable with, it is okay to say No. He should not pressure you and if he does walk away. Also if he is having sex with people who have a reputation be careful that you don't catch any sexually transmitted diseases from him.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (10 June 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntThere are things some people enjoy and there are things some people don't enjoy. Just because others feel comfortable with it does not mean YOU have to do it if it is not something you feel comfortable with.

Tell him this is a turn OFF for you and, if that is what he needs to be turned on, then you two had better not bother having sex together because you are just not going to do it for each other.

NEVER do something which you don't want to. EVER.

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A male reader, judgedick France +, writes (10 June 2017):

judgedick agony auntthis guy you're with talks about the girls he uses ,

he is a user when he told you about the other girl with a rep , you say your in a FWB with this guy and you seem to be open to moving on to a sex-friend relationship, while not knowing anything about this type relationship.

I would expect it should be just between the 2 of you and not opening you up to all the people he has sex with and the risks that goes with that.

Think of if you get an STD from him , so my take on FWB is and I might be wrong is that it is the same as a love relationship without the love , so you have the right to say NO to what ever is not right for you.

but I would be worried if I could trust this guy if he is out for a sex friend he does not have the same ties as if he was you bf so he has not the same loyalty,

my word of advice to you is " a person that talks to you about others will talk about you to others

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 June 2017):

Honeypie agony auntNo, if you don't want to, you don't want to. It's OK to say no.

While some men enjoy a thumb up their arse, that is great as long as the person USING said thumb is OK with it.

As for the girl who introduced him to it, maybe he should stick with her? Whether she sleeps around or not, doesn't matter. Doesn't matter if she is a "thumb up a guy's arse" either. As long as SHE and the dude enjoy it.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (10 June 2017):

N91 agony auntIt's nothing to do with being oversensitive.

If you don't want to do something sexually, don't do it, simple as that.

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