A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend lives an hour away and wants me to drive to his place every weekend because it's nicer and he doesn't have any roomates like me and i get better gas mileage. Should I just start refusing to go up there sometimes and make plans with my friends on the weekends so he gets the hint that I want him to come down here and that it's not all about him? He goes out during the week, and then has me (his girlfriend) visit him on the weekend. That is the life I guess, but it's like he's lazy and doesn't make an effort. He knows I get up early during the week but had the nerve last night to say I should visit him more during the week. I said he should visit me more period! What should I do?[Moderator note: Added from same user]Why do I keep having dreams my boyfriend is cheating on me? I know it's just a dream, but does it mean it's real?...My boyfriend won't give me a key to his place, because he thinks I will check up on him in the middle of the night. We used to be engaged and we lived together in that same place, but then we broke up and now we are back together. Is he trying to hide something?...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): yes girl my advice is to leave him, if he can't be open about everything and he suppose to love you I would leave him.whatt does it matter if you check up on him. If you put more love them him in this relationship then it's no worth your time move on and do better.
A
female
reader, bemused  + ♥, writes (12 November 2008):
 Hi hun
I read your post through a couple of times. The added info that you used to be engaged, broke up and are now back together is telling. Who was the one that intiated the two of you getting back together? Was it you? If it was you, your boyfriend may be feeling a little complacent that he is in the drivers seat on this one. Why is it you used to live together and are not now? Is it your job situation? What was it that broke up you in the first place? Did the two of you iron out those differences when you got back together and are they still there...simmering. The thing that comes out here is that you are not happy with the current situation. You arer correct that you are doing all the compromising to keep this situation going. I do not think you need to play games here but remember that you are an equal partner in this relationship deserving of respect and love. A good relationship entails mutual compromsise. I would step back a bit if I were you. Try harder NOT to make this guy such a focus in your life. What about your friends and your interests. Dive into them a bit and your boyfriend will get wind of that you are a person with her own life and energy. You also need to tell him that it is simply not fair for you to make the drive each weekend. The weather will be changing soon and you will be having to be making that drive alone in the winter.
He is not treating you paticularly well. You are a sure thing for him right now...be less sure. He may genuinely feel that he can have more alone time with you at his place. If that is the case, suggest that he come and get you on Friday. You could have dinner in your town and then go back to his place. The fact he will not give you a key is telling. It would indicate to me that he is not ready to be mutually exclusive with you right now...could go back to the reasons you broke up in the past. Remember...sometimes a little distance is dignity. Keep us posted hun.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): Seems like it's a big issue for you who visits who. Tell him that. It doesn't matter who has better milage. It's pretty long distance to tavel, and if you are not comfortable with it, tell him.The fact that he doesn't have any roomates makes it's a better situation for you guys if you want to spend time alone.
he wants to see you during the week, why is it bad?
May be it's not that he doesn't want to make an effort, it's just his living situation is more comfortable for both of you.
The fact that he doesn't give you keys after you guys already lived together make me think that it's a matter of him trusting you. Did you give him reason to think that you would disturb him in a middle of the night?
The fact that he wants to see you more during the week tells me that it's very unlikely that he is cheating on you
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