A
female
age
36-40,
*sfritzy
writes:Hello again! My relationship has been rocky lately, and it's been due to my accepting a part-time job at a bank. He used to work at a credit union last yr but lost the job. He blames me for losing it because he'd start arguments with me and try to rush off the phone when it was time for me to speak. So, I'd get upset and he was late a few days and lost the job. Now, I've been offered this job and he says it's a slap in his face and shows my loyalty to him because I accepted it. He wants to dump me bcoz of this and has been treating me like dirt, throwing the past in my face, and questioning my love for him. Everytime we get back on track, he brings it up again. This REALLY hurts because I love him so much... Am I wrong in this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 Its unfortunate you have such an immature n selfish man in ur life.
But whats more unfortunate is that you cant snap your fingers n change the way you feel for him
Clearly he isnt a keeper n you are fast approaching cross-roads where you will have to make tough choices for your life n well being.
Dont let him bring you down or blame you for him not being as responsible as he should have been for his own life and his own affairs
I know you love him but surely...YOU CAN DO BETTER!!
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (26 July 2011):
 Don't feel guilty. You are not in the wrong. This isn't a slap in the face. It may be to him, but that's his fault that he couldn't show up to work on time. The jobs you get don't have anything to do with loyalty. You're trying to make some money, not flirt with anyone while helping customers. If he's really this upset, why doesn't he go find work at another credit union or a bank? If he wants to dump you because of this, then let him because it shows how immature and controlling he is. You can find someone better. But don't feel bad about taking the job because he wasn't able to keep his. That's his fault, not yours, so don't suffer because of his wrongdoings.
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A
male
reader, Roshii  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 Short answer No your not, A relationship is supposed to be about two people sharing a life together and supporting and adapting to one another. accepting decisions you each make together.
Communication seems to have broken down here, but it is your decision if you take a job or not and he should accept that, is there any reason why he wouldn't? like when he first got his job were you supportive?
What ever happens in a relationship's past, if its forgiven that's where it should stay, dragging things up again just means he hasn't completely forgiven and forgotten about it. Which is the first step.
You need to talk to him about the issue he's dragging up, does he blame you for loosing his job?
If you both want to work on this im sure it can be resolved. But with the information provided it's hard for me to advise with out theorizing about every possibility it could be.
I know however that you shouldn't blame yourself.
If you can give more information about what hes bringing up, and about what you used to argue about before he lost his job im sure ill be able to help better.
You don't have to be detailed just the vital parts.
Feel free to message me and good luck
Roshii
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