A
female
age
30-35,
*Charliix
writes:Hey guys, I'm going to try keep this brief for you.A year ago I was made heart broken when my girlfriend split up with me. It was very out of the blue and was a total shock. Throughout last year I suffered from a severe breakdown because of it, and have only really recently been able to function properly again!. I do believe she was the love of my life. When we split she made it clear she never wanted to speak or see me again... We went a few months without contact. Then at the beginning of the year we randomly started talking, and since then have pretty much spoken everyday, even met up for coffee a few weeks ago. In addition to reconnecting with her at the beginning of the year, I also met and started dating my current girlfriend. I care and love this girl a lot. But my ex occupies a lot of my mind still, and even still causes me pain when I think back to the break up. There's been periods where I don't think of my ex at all and I am very happy with my current girlfriend, but then there are times where all I do is cry and feel so guilty because all I can think about it my ex.Me and my current girlfriend have been together 4 months ish, and I have been saying to myself that the feelings for my ex will eventually go as my relationship with my current girlfriend progresses, but it doesn't seem to be happening. So my question is. What do I do? Even though me and my ex are back in regular contact and are getting on really well again, I don't ever think she will be in a relationship again .( She is also a massive game player and does enjoy messing around with my head ) But I'm struggling to be around my current girlfriend at the moment because I feel awful for my the thoughts I'm having, My current girlfriend is lovely and kind and completely adores me.Do I leave my current girlfriend? I feel like I'm a horrible person and feel it's just unfair on her for me to be thinking of someone else. Help!.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (2 May 2016):
 I think it's pretty unfair for your current GF that you got back in touch with the ex and is still talking and meeting up. NOT cool. I'm pretty sure YOU wouldn't like a partner doing THAT.
You aren't over your EX, which means while you might care for the current, she IS a rebound. Someone you USED to make yourself feel better after the break up. That might not have been entirely intentional, but still... You wouldn't LIKE if someone did that to you, would you?
I agree with Denizen. YOU need to OWN up and MAKE a choice. The EX or the current. IF you choose the EX, you BREAK up and CUT all contact with the current (and no, no BS let's be friends down the line, talk and meet up). Same goes if you choose your current GF.
By the way, I think your EX is being a selfish person here. IF she knows you are dating someone new and budding in, AFTER she dumped you and wanted no contact. That ... to me shows that she hasn't herself found anyone new so she went back to he last relationship (you) to see if she can have some of that familiarity back. And I doubt she has stopped being a "game player".
Does your current GF know you are talking and meeting up with the ex?
You have only dated the current for 4 months, SHE will get over it if you end it.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (2 May 2016):
 The problem is you started a new relationship before you had got over the last one. You need to be able to function as an individual without a girlfriend as a prop.
The past is over and you need to make it so, and move on. Cut down on contact with your ex'. If that is too painful then you have to explain to your current girlfriend what is going on, It's only fair to her. If you don't it will tear you apart. Man up, take responsibility, do the right thing. You will feel better.
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