A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend fingered me hard by inserting 3 fingers into my vagina. Then the very next day I found brown stains on my panties. Have I lost my virginity already?
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female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 I'm not sure how long you have been together, but take your time if that's what you want to do. It sounds like loosing your virginity isn't far away if things have got this far. Be careful.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe wanted to insert his penis into me but I refused. I guess that still make us virgins in this way. As both of us did not have sex before.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (17 October 2010):
 You can break your hymen in any number of ways but it has nothing to do with your virginity. The only way you can lose your virginity is if someone inserts a penis into your vagina. Have you had a penis in your vagina? If not, you're still a virgin.
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A
female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (17 October 2010):
Three fingers? Thats a lot! Im not a virgin but i still feel uncomfortable if my bf uses 3fingers....Anyhow, if you take losing your hymen as losing your virginity then you're not a virgin anymore; but if you think losing your virginity is having a penis inside of you then you're still a virgin. Some girls have big vibrators go inside them all the time and they consider themselves virgins! I think when you'll have sex it wont be too painful since he's already started fingering you....
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 October 2010):
 Losing virginity is committed by the act of a penis penetrating a vagina. Since that didn't happen, then physically, you are still a virgin.
Now, emotionally (or spiritually, if you want to look at it that way), in my opinion, emotional virginity is lost when you willingly give yourself physically to someone else of your own free will, be it in hetersexual or homosexual relations.
Being fingered "starts the engine", so to speak, in your case. Try to have your boyfriend be more gentle! It's not like he's trying to dig pennies out of there or something! geeze.
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (17 October 2010):
I wouldn't worry about it. I would count loosing your virginity from when you first have actual sex. I also think it helps if you have experienced fingering first, it gets you mentally and/or physically used to the concept of sex. Sounds like you are getting ready though.
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A
male
reader, Theoir  +, writes (17 October 2010):
Virginity is a state of mind, and not physical. While your hymen might have been torn by his vigorous fingering of your vagina, you only lost your virginity if you think so.
In fact, in my philosophy you could've had several sexual partners, and still be a virgin.
The physical intactness of your hymen has no bearing on your virginity. Just think of young women who are very athletic. It is quite likely that their hymen was damaged while doing sports.
What about women born without a hymen?
I hope you see how ridiculous it is to think of virginity in terms of the intactness of your hymen. That is, if you believe that you are still a virgin, and are yet to discover your sexuality, then by all means, you are still a virgin.
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