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Lost feelings for my girlfriend. I don't even care to talk to her at times and I worry about it

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 July 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 24 July 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I dont know if im asking for help or what . Ive been dating this girl for almost 2 years now . we are best friends . I thought she was the woman of my dreams .

Recently . I have had some space from her and it has opened my mind up to the immaturity that she brings into the relationship . shell text me in the middle of the night to ask me a question and then one of her guy friends will tell her something different and she wants to side with them and argue with me ? I have to work in the morning not stay up and argue. so when i tell her my side or that i have to get up and why even ask me if you already sided with someone ..? makes no sense. then she gets mad at me and doesnt want to talk for day or whatever. more less I have noticed her immaturity . She has also told me to much of her past sex life. and yes retroactive Jealousy is a huge problem with me that I have tried to overcome. but its not as bad as some of the people on here who have it . which I can feel your pain deeply . all in all. Im losing feelings all together for her very much everyday . Its making me sad because our good days outweigh the bad ones 80/20 no question. she knows me better than anyone else. but I cant handle the things she does anymore.

is it okay to feel like this ? I love her . and I know ill be alone and lonely for a long time if i let her go . or should I just hold on to what we got . and hang on for the ride. its been a roller coaster ride of up and downs . could this be a down part. or could this be the end of the ride for me ? I just dont want to lose contact with her. but I kind of have a feeling it might be for the best .

please serious answers only . how do i go about this. she isnt the understanding type . if I said Im losing feelings all together . she would just leave and not talk to me in fear of getting hurt. and I dont want to do that .

View related questions: best friend, her past, jealous, sex life, text

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A female reader, MissKin United Kingdom +, writes (24 July 2010):

MissKin agony auntIf you're losing your feelings for her (like you're completely sure you are) then you have to let go, it's not fair no either of you to hang on if you don't feel like you love her anymore. If your feelings are being deteriorated by something she's doing - tell her, that what she's doing is making you feel less than happy and you don't want to experience it anymore. They sound for the most part quite small and petty and (to quote you) immature. maybe you've outgrown each other? or maybe you can work on it. either way you should act in the way that will make you happiest. I suggest trying to work on it, seeing if she will change the way she acts and see how you begin to feel then? And if she can't change, or if your feelings don't reignite, maybe it's time to move on. Just ensure that you make your decision based upon the right reasons. Don't do anything to NOT hurt her, cos it will end up hurting her anyway, so you mite as well do what is best for you, without being inconsiderate of her feelings of course, but you can't hold on to someone for their sake. Nobody can answer this question, and you have a right to feel the way you do. people change and move on and out grow each other. it's really just a matter of how you feel yourself.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010):

I'm in the same situation and I know that's how he feels towards me, I'm 5months pregnant and its worse. Perhaps she knows how you are feeling and its just as deply upseting .could you handle her seeing some one else? Are you looking for comfert in another woman! ( If so you need to tell her seriously how u feel. Give it ago xx

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A female reader, queen14 United States +, writes (24 July 2010):

queen14 agony auntHi there ya I feel u.. Mmm I think that u both felt into a routine have u ever thought bout doing stuff that u think would make her happy? Idk try been romantic with her n talk 2 her b straight up n tell her how u feel n b honest with ur self if u don't feel happy with ur self anymore let her no y ur no happy with ur relationship n if she doesn't change then its all up 2 u 2 do something about it n if that mean. Gotta let her go then so b it.

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