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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Hello. If at all possible, could a gay man please answer a few questions for me.My gay friend has told me that he is always the giver and never the receiver. Does it work that way??? He says he does not like to take it up the butt. Also he has told me that he does not swallow. Does that sound gay to you??? He has had relationships with women in the past, so does this make him bisexual??? He is 38 years old so I doubt he is sexually confused. We are pretty affectionate towards each other and he has told me that he loves me. Do you think he is lying to me so that I would see him as more heterosexual rather than gay???
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): I dont think he is lying to you. In most gay realtionships each person pretty much have a role. There are people who are strictly tops and there are those that are strictly bottoms. Its all about communication. When I was with my ex we were both tops and its cray because we didnt have intercourse for some months. We did discuss the issue and we both said that we would both have to compromise. Believe me I do not like it, but when you love love someone you will do anything to make them happy. So I think you should talk to him if you want to top him.
A
male
reader, Olopocram  +, writes (2 November 2010):
Seems to me like you are both tolerant of gayness and slightly confused about what it really is.
Everyone is different and so is every (gay or not) relationship. Some gay men do not like to be penetrated and — like many women — many gay men do not like to swallow (not to mention the potential danger of doing this). Also, many gay men have experienced with woman.
You qualify your friend as 'gay' but you do not seem to be sure about his real sexual orientation. Why do you call him 'gay' ? Does he say he is ? Does he says he's bisexual ? Does he tell you he loves you in a romantic way or in a friendly way ?
More details would be useful.
It might also be useful to you to get more information about gayness and what it means to be gay.
Good luck.
[I am 49 and gay]
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