A
female
age
30-35,
*averick494
writes:I read quite a lot of situations concerning long distance relationships. Some people give up their social lives for that signficant other who happens to live miles away, maybe even in another country. Their means of contact is usually internet or phones. Can relationships like these even work out? In my opinion they rarely do. Sometimes I even catch myself wondering how naive these people can be to think that this 'relationship' is something real. There are questions about cheating, but how can you cheat on someone you've never met or see fewer times than your least favourite family members? On the internet you can be whomever you want to be: who says you even know your virtual gf/bf? So what do you think? Are people who get into this just delusional or can it actually work out?
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female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (12 July 2010):
 I thought mine would work out.. but it didn't.
Not to say it won't for others.
It's quite saddening, I saw my entire future crash before my eyes. But you live, and you learn.
I'd say it was a good experience all up, but I wouldn't choose to do it again.
A
female
reader, Miss Isa +, writes (11 July 2010):
 I am currently in a LDR for over 1 year now. And yes, at first it seemed like lunacy, but as time has gone by, my beloved and I, have ironed out some pretty rough patches. We have spoken on the phone since day one non stop. Then there is the mad-texting, phone sex and Skype.
You need to have a very creative, and colorful imagination to get you through those lonely days.
What works for us is that we did meet in person at a family gathering, got to spend 2 of those days talking, and getting to know each other, we then exchanged our cell numbers to keep in touch, once he had to go back to his state.
The lines of communication were established and never broken. We both accepted our living situations as is, and worked with how things are at the moment. We are divorced, he; 10 years, myself; 7 years, and have been quite comfortable with our freedom.
I was married to a spouse who was physically and verbally abusive for 15 years, and he had a wife who cheated on him with no remorse. Neither of us are ready to "jump the broom" any time soon so this LDR thing is working for us. He has come to visit me a few times in my state. He has family in my town, and his daughter from his divorce lives in this state and he goes to see her.
We are diligent about our relationship and do want to be with each other, but now is not the time. So we hold on to this. Bizarre to some, convenient for us.
After my divorce, I waited, healed, and did attempt to date. I wound up with some real pieces of work! I said screw that, and let me meet someone who is totally different from the norm. Lo and behold, I met my love unexpectedly, out of the blue.
Our relationship is based on blind faith and trust. Neither one of us have stipulated any rules on each other, we are free to do whatever we want to do. It is our own choice to stay monogamous to each other. I am totally into him so I have no desire to be with another man, and he works killer 12 hour days, so he has no time for a social life anyhow. This scenario pans out for us both. We are both in our 50's so...we got some baggage behind us!
So I wouldn't say a LDR is a recipe for disaster, it all depends on what you decide to bring to the table.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): I myself is in a LDR and has been for over a year and in that year we talk on msn on the phone text truly commited i dont get to see him often cause we both have kids and can only see each other in the school hols which is not that often last time i saw him was so hard to leave him thats the bit i dont like so i came to a descion to move up close to him and i am in a months time and cant wait and hes excited too and what we got is a very strong connection but one needs to move for it to progress and i have decided it to be me casue he has his friends and fam and a good job i have family in another town and friends here i live now but not the best of friends just people say hello to so dont mind leaivng its like a new start and just had to be done cause if i wouldnt of moved things would of just plodded on still stayed committed but probably gone into a rut and dont want that.
so i am looking forward to my new life by my man in my own house but something tells me will be moving in with him soon cause where my new house is he lives around the corner and still will be hard to hold back the tears when he goes back to his home and i bet we will be on msn too but i will know in my heart once we part he his just around the corner from me and will probably see him loads more to what i have been doing so yes LDR can work but have to be committed and i think one day one has to move to be by the other for things to progress i can actually see myself marrying this man one day hes my soul mate like me in a mans body like i have met myself..so LDR are not corny they can work..
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 July 2010):
 Define "work out". Many close and "physical" relationships don't last either. I believe just about as many long-distance as physical relationships end. Or fewer for that matter as there are less long-distance relationships in the world than physical ones.
I've had physical relationships that ended. Im in a long-distance relationship right now. If my long-distance relationship ended I wouldn't say it makes a difference that we were far apart, we've soon been together longer than any physical relationship I've ever been in.
It is hard though, and I wouldn't enter one again now that I know just how difficult and painful it is.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (4 July 2010):
 I was in a LDR for almost 6 years. I wouldn't recommend them. Unless both people are TOTALLY committed to each other and truly understand how hard they are to maintain, they don't work. You have to be an extremely trusting, independent person to make them work. Most people just can't handle how hard they are. Of course there are success stories, but mainly LDR can only be maintained for a brief amount of time and then after that they fail because one or both people need the physical contact that LDR just can't give on a regular basis.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): I'm pretty sceptical of LDR's because I just think that being physically apart like that makes you grow apart emotionally.
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