A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 6 years,(I'm 26, she's 23) we have bought a house together and are set up for the rest of our lives really. We also work at the same place so therefore see each other for dinner etc through the day. The thing is, since we have lived together (2 years) our sex life has seriously declined. It wasn't great to start with but we just stayed together because it's been convenient etc. She is also moodier and snappy and generally not that loving towards me even tho she says she loves me.We seem to be living our lives as if we we are a 50 year old married couple, where as if I were single I could be having fun still. She's not cheating or anything of the sort as were together so much there is no time or chance to do that.I've had the feeling that I want to leave her for a while but never done anything about it as I know how much it would hurt her.It's a case of getting in too deep. But do I continue my life with her while being unhappy, or finish it now and live a little before settling down with somone. My heart wants the latter but my brain says choose the easy option and stay put. Any advice wouldbe great thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): Hi, i think you should follow your heart. Do what makes you happy. That is coming from me & i was in your gfrends position. Me & my ex wer together for years & had a son together & he left me. It hurt like hell but he wasnt happy & staying with someone when your unhappy isnt the answer. I miss him a lot & i hav to see him evry week end with his new gfrend wen he picks up his son but that is wot he chose. You have the right to chose who you do & dont want to be with. That is life! Dont mis treat her tho. Be good to her thru it all. I intend to be best frends with my ex bcoz he has always respected me thru our relationship & thru the break up. I hope it all works out for you. Goodluck in life & love.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): you two need some time apart to think about what you and her want out of live
you both are young to be settling down
so therefore some time apart will give you both the chance to look at live from the outside and to see if settling down now is the right think or to want a bit
i hope this has be of good advice to you
i hope things work out for you
you are young for settling down but if your heart is in it then settle down but if it is not then not take the chance and end up break her heart and yours
good luck
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A
female
reader, the cat's pajamas +, writes (25 March 2009):
 i know this advice might sound weird coming from a younger person but going on what you have written it seems that sub consciously you have made your mind up. You say you feel unhappy and at any age your number 1 duty is to yourself, regardless of marital/relationship status.
So my advice : I think you should sit down, silently, alone and really think about your situation asking questions like 'am i happy?', 'would i really be happier out of this?' etc. The answer should become evident soon enough. Writing down all the advantages/disadvantages on a piece of paper may help too. My perception of life is to follow your heart. It is always the best option if your brain is going for the 'easy option'.
I hope this helps but seriously spend an hour or so in solitude thinking this over.
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