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Life is a confused wreck. My partner broke up with me. Help, how do I emerge from this OK to go forward?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Friends, Gay relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 February 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 February 2012)
A male United States age 30-35, *hernandez1991 writes:

My world came crumbling down on december 31.

I was enjoying myself at a new year party, and i decided to,,check my facebook. The first thing that popped up was the,lesbian,i used to like.

I found out she had a boyfriend. When i found out, i felt horrible.

On top of,that the following day on january 1 my boyfriend broke up with me,through text. He said he,was depressed and,emotionally,sick and,he did not want to bring me down with him.

Finding this,out just tore my heart into pieces. Now i just don't know what to do. All i feel right now is mixed emotions of sadness, anger, betrayal, and many more. and i have all these tears that i just want to let go of in a fury of crying, but i just cant cry. Its all just tearing me,apart on the inside and out.

View related questions: broke up, depressed, facebook, text

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A male reader, MajorDisplayerOfInternationalPlayerBehavior United States +, writes (3 February 2012):

MajorDisplayerOfInternationalPlayerBehavior agony auntTime heals all wounds. Think positively, and soon, the sun will shine again for you. Break ups are difficult, but this is a temporary difficult time and you will find happiness.

I have had failed relationships, one in particular where I really loved this girl and she broke up with me.

At first, I was devastated. But once I "let go" emotionally, everything turned around, and I had amazing luck.

There will be times in life when everything goes great, and then those times where everything just seems to fall apart.

Once we "detach" ourselves emotionally from the bad experiences, we "open" ourselves up for the new and exciting, fun times that the future holds!

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (2 February 2012):

tennisstar88 agony auntIt sounds like you're really confused about your sexuality. Your lesbian friend has a boyfriend and you're jealous, then your male partner dumps you. Which one is it that you lean more towards, male or female??

Start by clearing up the confusion. Actually, forget about your lesbian friend having a boyfriend, she sounds just as confused and it sounds like she's happy. Be happy for her.

Next regarding your ex, allow yourself time to grieve. Also keep in mind that he didn't break up with you for selfish reasons such as cheating. He broke up with you because he needs to address his mental issues!!! As much as you're hurt over this, you really CANNOT blame him for taking time to make himself better. I'd much rather have my emotionally sick boyfriend dump me and work on his mental health, than stay in this relationship, never addressing his depression and doing something life threatening.

I know break-ups suck...there's no way to make them hurt less. Have a good cry, keep in mind what I told you, and work on moving on with your life. When your life decides to come crashing down at any given time, you can't stop it. You accept what has happened and try to get past it.

Good luck!

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