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LDR has me not feeling as attracted to my b/f as I used to

Tagged as: Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 January 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 31 January 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a boyfriend of 3 years and i love him dearly, we used to spend a lo of time together and even lived together for 6 months at one point but for the last 12 months we have been in a long distance relationship.

we stay in contact and manage to visit each other when we can afford it. but lately ive found myself not feeling as attracted to him as i used to? I love the idea of spending time with him but the thought of having sex or kissing doesnt work for me anymore. i almost feel like cringing at the idea. i dont know whats wrong with me, hes a lovely, sweet person and good looking and we have always been there for each other so why dont i want him in a romantic way anymore?

i love him but im confused, am i falling out of love with him?

View related questions: kissing, long distance

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A female reader, R1 United Kingdom +, writes (31 January 2013):

R1 agony auntMy ex used to work away, it used to feel weird at first when he came home. It took time for me to want to sleep with him because I had become used to him being away. And people change subtly when you aren't around.

I think you feel that way because it is long distance. Maybe it's not meant to be.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (31 January 2013):

Perhaps he's a lovely, sweet guy who needs to be cut loose, because from what you're saying, basically it seems that you're falling out of love.

Either you have to make some huge effort to start over with him, which may mean some way of moving to be with him, or at least telling him how you feel so that he knows a new effort has to be made.

Of, you have to let him go.

Are you willing to maybe move for this guy, or is he willing to move to you?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2013):

It seemslike you still love him in that you still care about him but that you have lost the feelings of lust for him and may be falling out of love with him if so you should end the relationship because other wise you will continue to be stuck in a relationship that isn't going anywhere.

Hope this helps.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2013):

Have you guys discussed a time where this long distance will end? You could be falling out of love because of the uncertainty of where this relationship is going. Do you plan on marrying him? Or moving in?

To visit each other whenever you can afford it, is hard on yourself and each other. Trips arent cheap and if its taking a large sum of money per visit it starts affecting you mentally because the questions pops as to how long you can keep up with this.

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